Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

The Self Under Siege: A New Model of Differentiation

…ach to increasing differentiation, a four-step process developed by Robert Firestone, Ph.D. that involves: 1. Breaking with internalized thought processes, that is, the critical, hostile attitudes toward self and others. 2. Altering the negative personality traits in oneself that represent an incorporation of the aversive traits of one’s parents. 3. Identifying and relinquishing patterns of defense formed as an adaptation to painful events in one’…

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7 Steps to Living the Life You Imagined

…act our careers, relationships and our goals in life. My father Dr. Robert Firestone describes this process of differentiation, as a four-step method for freeing yourself from past prescriptions and becoming who you really are. On June 4, I will host a free Webinar “Becoming the Real You” to further explore this complex subject. I will discuss the steps of differentiation and describe key principles to keep in mind when embarking on this challengi…

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The Self Under Siege: A New Model of Differentiation

…ative approach to differentiation, a four-step process developed by Robert Firestone, Ph.D. involving: 1. Breaking with internalized thought processes, critical attitudes toward self & others. 2. Altering the negative personality traits in oneself that represent an incorporation of aversive traits of one’s parents 3. Identifying/relinquishing patterns of defense formed as an adaptation to painful events in childhood. 4. Developing one’s own values…

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6 Things You Should Know About Depression

…itic. We all have an inner critic, what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, refers to as your “critical inner voice.” For people who are depressed, this critical inner voice can have a powerful and destructive influence on their state of mind. It may be feeding them a distorted commentary on their lives: You are too fat to leave the house. You are so stupid. No one will ever love you. You aren’t capable of being happy. You will never suc…

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Stop Procrastinating

…t so hard to stop procrastinating? We all possess what psychologist Robert Firestone describes as a “critical inner voice.” This “voice” is like a mean coach, critiquing our performance, questioning our abilities and encouraging us to stray from our goals. People who procrastinate tend to have a loud and active inner critic. They may hear self-hating thoughts like, “You won’t do it right, so why do it at all?” or “Don’t take a chance. You’ll never…

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A New Look at Differentiation

…book The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation, Robert Firestone, Joyce Catlett and I show how the self is under siege from several sources: primarily from pain and rejection in the developmental years, but also struggles in personal relationships, detrimental societal forces, and existential realities that affect all people. To become one’s own person – to differentiate and separate oneself from these negative influences, both…

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Effective Methods of Treating Depression

…cognitive/affective/ behavioral methodology developed by my father Robert Firestone, Ph.D. The five steps of Voice Therapy target a person’s inner critic or critical inner voice. This “voice” represents a vicious anti-self that is formed out of negative early life experiences. The anti-self can fuel depression, leading people to experience a cycle of self-criticism and a feeling of worthlessness. The steps of Voice Therapy, involve: Step I: The p…

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4 Steps to Conquer Your Inner Critic

…a negative thought process, which my father psychologist and author Robert Firestone refers to as the critical inner voice. Watch a Whiteboard Video on The Critical Inner Voice The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and othe…

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Recognizing Complex Trauma

…discuss the concept of the “critical inner voice,” a term my father Robert Firestone, Ph.D. and I use to describe a negative self-perception we carry with us in our minds. All of us possess this inner critic, but those of us who are traumatized may experience this “voice” as a deeply destructive and terrifying enemy whose attacks on us can feel crippling and constant and can lead to even life-threatening self-destructive behavior. When a person fe…

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The Self Under Siege

…identity is most likely to emerge when we are under stress or particularly fearful. On those occasions, we symbolically reconnect to people who caused us psychological pain and anxiety in our developmental years, and act out the destructive behaviors that were manifested towards us. In summary, all people are possessed to varying degrees by alien personalities and to that extent exist as divided selves. These incorporated personalities represent t…

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