…uld be taking a serious toll. So, what if there was a technique that could help resolve conflicts between you and your partner? Would you try it? Even if it meant temporarily dropping your side of the fight? What if it meant letting go of all that pent up righteous-seeming rage right at the moment when it’s at its peak? Believe it or not, you can learn to do this. And when you do, not only will your fights lose their nasty, escalating nature, but…
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…t the background of skillful psychotherapeutic intervention. Dr. Robert W. Firestone explains and illustrates his concept of the “Fantasy Bond,” an illusion of connection utilized as a defense mechanism against emotional closeness. This film offers fresh insights into the core issues in disturbed marital relations. It suggests that by understanding their tendency to form these damaging ties, men and women can regain the feelings of love and tender…
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…rvive in your childhood. These self-soothing mechanisms may initially have helped you, but they may now limit you in your life. Common examples of these behaviors are eating to push down emotions, buying yourself treats to make you feel better, keeping emotional distance from others to feel safer, taking care of yourself and not asking for what you want and need from others, doing things to try to please others in an attempt to get their love, hav…
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…ndividual, as outlined in my new book, co-authored by my father Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation. Individuals who are more differentiated, who are living their lives based on their own unique values and desires, are open to new experiences rather than tied to routine. They can think clearly and problem solve. They are proactive not victimized when faced with difficulties. They ta…
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…” In his blog “Alive Sexuality,” my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, described the cause of this shift that so often takes place in intimate relationships. Most people view their mutual patterns of withholding and their diminished sexual attraction to each other as part of the normal course of events and mistakenly place the blame on the familiarity, routine, and daily contact inherent to a committed relationship. In truth, once p…
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…was the atmosphere in my home.” Recognizing where their voices originated helps people develop compassion for themselves. Step Three: Responding to Your Critical Inner Voice In the third step of voice therapy, an individual answers back to the voice attacks. People who have thoughts like, “You’re so stupid. No one wants to hear what you are thinking. Just sit in the background and keep your mouth shut!” may respond with statements like, “I am not…
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…nds, making eye contacting and engaging in small flirtatious behaviors can help people feel closer to one another. Companionship – It is important to share activities and do things with your partner that light both you up. Often when people first fall in love, they bond over a shared love of certain activities and mutual interests. To maintain a healthy relationship, I suggest that couples continue to share their mutual passions and be willing to…
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…ou are doing with your life. My father, psychologist and author Dr. Robert Firestone exemplifies this principle, recently stating, I knew early in life what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be. I wanted to make a contribution and I wanted to help people. I didn’t want to be insignificant, I wanted to be significant and I wanted to share life and I wanted to experience it, I wanted to feel everything… I didn’t want to miss anything. I didn’t expect…
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…to tell if we are attracted to someone for the right or wrong reasons. One helpful approach is to enlist the help of friends. Another advantage of dating later in our lives is that, by now, we usually have at least a small network of solid, longtime friends who we really trust. Sometimes our friends are more aware of our negative tendencies than we are. Try taking your friends’ advice on who you should date. If you’re looking into online dating, t…
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by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. Joyce Catlett, M.A. Psychological Defenses in Everyday Life is a rich resource that broadens personal understanding by examining the origins of childhood pain, subsequent defense formation, and the pervasiveness and destructiveness of resulting maladaptive, addictive behaviors in adults. The authors point a way toward reversing the damaging process that keeps individuals from experiencing genuine satisfaction. The cl…
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