Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/12/1593/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/11/imperfect-parenting-rupture-and-repair-by-michelle-deen

How Your Attachment Style Impacts Your Relationship

…ey may seek isolation and feel “pseudo-independent,” taking on the role of parenting themselves. They often come off as focused on themselves and may be overly attending to their creature comforts. Pseudo-independence is an illusion, as every human being needs connection. Nevertheless, people with a dismissive avoidant attachment tend to lead more inward lives, both denying the importance of loved ones and detaching easily from them. They are ofte…

Learn More

Writing "The Birth of Pleasure"

…variety of topics including feminism, patriarchy, relationships, pleasure, parenting, and psychotherapy. She dispels myths regarding feminism that have pervaded both professional discourse and popular media for the past three decades, describing how “patriarchy creates a rift in the psyche, dividing everyone apart from themselves.” She discusses relationships and parenting, including the dynamics of mother-son and mother-daughter relationships. Fi…

Learn More

Remember the Kids: Easing the Adjustment of Divorce for Children

…As highlighted repeatedly by various medical journals, books, and popular parenting guides, here are some helpful tips to help ease your child’s adjustment through the process of separation and divorce: – Be honest. While telling the truth may seem difficult, lies or major omissions may confuse and frustrate the child down the road. Understanding the reasons behind the divorce may save the child from greater hurt if they were to find out later. H…

Learn More
doomed relationships, intimacy issues, psychalive

Don’t Play the Victim Game

…nd understanding. However, the adult who is still playing the child victim role responds like the deer that sees a mountain lion approaching and instead of fleeing the danger becomes paralyzed. This person just keeps noticing over and over that the situation is unreasonable, unfair or threatening but doesn’t make the appropriate adaptive responses. In the case of the woman mentioned above, the tip off to the fact that she really preferred the chil…

Learn More
Why Trauma-Informed Care Matters in Addiction Recovery

Why Trauma-Informed Care Matters in Addiction Recovery

…nding trusted resources and supportive people and groups that might include 12-step programs. Therapists may want to incorporate Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) and many other modalities to help those in recovery develop strengths and stable relationships, and minimize unhelpful responses. (Some therapists, myself included, use training in multiple modalities such as Sensorimotor Psychotherap…

Learn More
Intimacy issues, alive to intimacy, the fantasy bond, Psychalive

Staying Compatible by Staying Yourself

…stituted for the substance of a relationship. * Don’t get caught up in the role of being in a couple and lose track of each of your unique characteristics that went into making your relationship unique. * Don’t use conventional symbols of love to take the place of genuine, personal expressions of love. * Don’t get into the role of being either the parent or child with each other. Don’t give up relating as the two equal adults that you actually are…

Learn More
Exploring anger

Exploring Anger: What It Is, What It Does, and When It’s Appropriate

…s the fuel behind many individuals’ striving for success, and has played a role in many great achievements in history. As stated by Bede Jerret, “The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.” On the other hand, however, anger has a quintessential role in many horrific events and catastrophes. This push and pull of the benefits and consequences of anger makes it hard to determine an appropriate amoun…

Learn More

The Last Jubilee by Stan Friedman

…njoyable weekend to be shared together. To give his all for the Guest. The role of the Guest was to permit himself to be given to. A far more difficult role. The spirit of the Jubilee was to presume meaning to all things. So that when our wishes or plans were dashed, rather than to bemoan our fates and move on, we were to stop and look closer. Until MEANING emerged and fate’s plan became revealed. This is a tale from our final and greatest Jubilee…

Learn More
Prosocial gossip, stress, behavior

Have You Heard The Latest? Study Shows Gossip Is Good For You!

…en when losing money. This suggests that prosocial gossiping plays a major role in stopping the exploitation of others and preventing bad behavior. In addition, gossip plays an important role in lowering our own stresses. According to Professor Robb Willer, “ We tend to think of gossip as a bad reputation, but if you were to remove it, that would be at the cost of social order.” No wonder so much of our time is devoted to gossiping. Read the full…

Learn More

How to Not Lose the "Me" When Becoming a "We"

…ubstituted for the substance of a relationship. Don’t get caught up in the role of being in a couple and lose track of each of your unique characteristics that went into making your relationship unique. Don’t use conventional symbols of love to take the place of genuine, personal expressions of love. Don’t get into the role of being either the parent or child with each other. Don’t give up relating as the two equal adults that you actually are. Do…

Learn More