Search Results for: identity

Stop Self-Sabotage by Conquering Your Inner Critic

…s as the agent of self-sabotage is the first step in breaking free from an identity that is not really you and beginning to pursue the things you want in life without undermining your chances of success. Starting to separate from these critical inner voices and taking actions that go against their prescriptions is key to differentiating yourself. Separating from the negative aspects of your early caretakers, which you have incorporated into yourse…

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Stop Hating Yourself Once and For All

…s, and they extend these reactions to their products (their children). Our identity is heavily informed by how we were viewed in our early family environment. The healthy and supportive attitudes we were exposed to in our childhoods helped build the positive side of our self-image – our “real self.” This is the part of us that feels a sense of self-worth, compassion and confidence. However, the harmful attitudes directed toward us formed the negat…

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Are You Sacrificing a Perfect Relationship for a Perfect Wedding?

…is an illusion of fusion couples form that leads them to give up their own identity and relate as a single unit. For an engaged couple, creating this connection may alleviate anxiety that arises from losing their youth, building a future, and, ultimately, facing mortality. This is a largely unconscious process. Married couples often lose the initial spark they had when they first fell in love or said “I do,” because they forego genuine relating fo…

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Are You Sabotaging Your Relationship?

…us of time and loss. On another level, love challenges an old and familiar identity. It thrusts us into maturity and forces us to separate from our past. When we get close to someone, it shifts our tectonic plates. It is a poignant and powerful thing that can erupt a dormant volcano of underlying emotions — things we’ve buried and sat on for years. In order to not let these emotions demolish a flourishing relationship, we have to face these deeper…

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excuses to stop making about sex

5 Excuses to Stop Making About Sex

Our sexuality is an important part of our identity. Feeling acknowledged as a sexual person contributes significantly to our sense of well-being. Although actual sex makes up a small amount of our time in a relationship, if the sexual contact between partners is absent or unsatisfying, it has a major impact on how we feel about the relationship, our partner and, most importantly, ourselves. Despite the importance of our sexuality, research has fo…

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Dear Voices…………Goodbye.

…and strong willed, A life not lived, But soon to be fulfilled. Your legacy will not live on, My own child’s voice will be his own. He is unique, just like me, He will have his own identity. I’ve said goodbye, and can now see, A happy, fun filled person; A splendid human being, The truly special person; That is me….

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4 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Yourself

…rt: The critical inner voice likes to keep us in a box, pigeon-holed by an identity that was assigned to us and not necessarily one we earned. For this reason, it can be tricky and can flood us with thoughts that are seemingly self-soothing. It’s easier to recognize an internal enemy when it’s yelling at you that you’re stupid, ugly or a failure. It’s harder to identify when it’s whispering thoughts like, “You’re fine on your own. Just be by yours…

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How to Make Your Life More Meaningful

…aining your defensive adaptations to life and reinforcing the familiar old identity you grew up with. It may put you down and undermine your desires with thoughts like, “You don’t really want that, do you?” “You have never gone after it before,” “You probably aren’t even capable of that.” It will warn you about taking chances and trying this new approach to life: “If you go for what you want, you are setting yourself up for failure, and it will be…

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Five Ways to Avoid an Infidelity

…real substance. People let go of their individuality in favor of a merged identity that, although often unexciting or even unpleasant, creates a false sense of safety and security. Couples in a fantasy bond often place countless restrictions on each other, expecting their partner to perform a certain function or role rather than be their own separate person with a sovereign mind. Ironically, that very independence and uniqueness is what drew you…

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What Parents Need to Know About the Teenage Brain

…ild starting to assert a separate sense of self and develop his or her own identity. This is particularly true of parents who have shut down these significant aspects of the self and are emotionally deadened or cut off from their own desire for what they want and need and what gives meaning to their lives. Teen years force parents to face the reality that their child is no longer as dependent, helpless and agreeable as he or she once was. Their yo…

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