Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

10 Ways to Fight Loneliness While Sheltering at Home

…rselves. 2. Get out of your head – In part 1 of this blog I wrote about a “critical inner voice” we all possess that pounces on us when we’re struggling and turns against us in the face of challenges. This “voice” has a tendency to get louder when we’re alone and in our heads, criticizing and evaluating us in harsh ways. It also encourages us to think no one cares about us or wants to hear from us. Getting to know this inner critic and noticing wh…

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Quiz: How Stressed Are you?

…rselves up, and literally scheduling ourselves out, to get stressed.” The “critical inner voice” is an internal commentary we all possess that criticizes our performance and undermines our accomplishments. It tends to feed on and fuel our stress levels by telling us, “You’ll never get this done! You’re going to fail. You can’t take this pressure.” By identifying this inner critic and noting when it starts to cloud our thinking, we can stop it from…

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How Divorce Impacts Children

…ing up means for adults. In fact, most of us are all too familiar with the critical thoughts that tell individuals who have just split up that they are failures, that they will never meet anyone or that they are unwanted or alone. But what effect does a break-up or divorce have on children? What critical thoughts are they hearing about themselves, and how can we help them cope with the real pain of the situation? Here the Mayo Clinic outlines a ba…

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How Jealousy Destroys Relationships

…hreatened in reality or are they just feeling threatened emotionally? What critical thoughts are they experiencing toward their partners and what critical thoughts are they having toward them selves as a result of these perceived threats to their relationships? By exploring feelings of jealousy and understanding why people react (or overreact) to the things they do, we can learn more about ourselves and limit behaviors that our destructive to our…

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A Horrific Event – What Can We Learn From the Sandy Hook Shooting

…d with preplanned violence. However this story does bring to the forefront CRITICAL lessons in need of attention. First, children who have difficulty with social engagement need support! The issue of bullying has been on everyone’s mind and a focus of attention in our schools. We all want to care for children. However, what gets identified by a child as bullying, particularly those with social and/or emotional developmental challenges, sometimes i…

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You Don’t Really Know Yourself

…ing the child’s future. In addition, children assimilate other more basic, critical attitudes about themselves derived from a less than adequate emotional climate that they experienced growing up, such as feeling that they are dirty, unlovable, unwanted, or a burden. Faced with frustration and emotional pain, they develop defense mechanisms in order to cope. These habitual ways of responding come to be identified by them as part of their core iden…

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Why Is It So Hard to Leave a Narcissist?

…have a side of us that doubts and diminishes who we are. We all possess a “critical inner voice” that tells us we are unworthy or undesirable in all kinds of ways. Being with a narcissist may make us feel a little better about ourselves in some respects, because we feel good that someone with such a seemingly high opinion of themselves chose us. Our partner may also build us up, making us feel special as their significant other, because they would…

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Recognizing Complex Trauma

…ctive point of view toward themselves. I often discuss the concept of the “critical inner voice,” a term my father Robert Firestone, Ph.D. and I use to describe a negative self-perception we carry with us in our minds. All of us possess this inner critic, but those of us who are traumatized may experience this “voice” as a deeply destructive and terrifying enemy whose attacks on us can feel crippling and constant and can lead to even life-threaten…

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Dr. Christine Courtois on the Concept of The Voice

Dr. Christine Courtois talks about the concept of the critical inner voice. The following transcript contains part of an exclusive interview with Dr. Lisa Firestone and Dr. Christine Courtois. CC I think in the field of trauma that the idea of voice and internalized voice is very important and it’s had different terminology. Certainly “identification with the aggressor” being one of them in more analytic terms. But this is a term, you know, it re…

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Dr. Christine Courtois on the Voice and Childhood Trauma: VIDEO

Dr. Christine Courtois talks about the role of the critical inner voice in the inter-generational transmission of childhood trauma. The following transcript contains part of an exclusive interview with Dr. Lisa Firestone and Dr. Christine Courtois. CC I have worked my whole career with adult survivors of incest and child sexual abuse or other forms of childhood trauma. And many of them have very deeply internalized voices and shadows, I guess, of…

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