Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

How to Deal with Rejection

The Paradox of Psychological Defenses

…ip; and (d) generally cynical, suspicious attitudes toward others and self-critical, self-hating attitudes toward oneself. Basically, psychological defenses such as rationalization, repression, denial, and projection limit life experience; distort one’s perception of reality; predispose maladaptive responses; avoid necessary risk-taking; and play a significant part in repetition compulsion –people tend to repeat the same mistakes and dysfunctional…

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Are You Living with an Accidental Identity?

…ide of us that is turned against us. The language of this anti-self is our critical inner voice, defining us in judgmental and self-critical ways, and encouraging us to engage in behavior that limits us, sabotages our goals, and is self-destructive. Our sense of identity isn’t only shaped by these early interactions with our caretakers, but also by the defenses we form to cope with emotional pain and distress. Three important factors contribute to…

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How to Beat Boredom in Your Relationship: Drop into the Plane of Possibility

…egative patterns we play out with our partner tend to be accompanied by a “critical inner voice,” which is much like a mean internal coach judging us, our partner, and our relationship. This “voice” can be an enormous distraction from staying present and open with our partner. “She forgot to take out the trash. She doesn’t notice everything you do around the house,” the voice suggests. “He’s working late again. You’re obviously not important to hi…

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Why Some Men Give Up Their Identity in a Relationship

…t. However, if that relationship is more strained or the mother has a more critical view of her son or of men in general, the son often internalizes these attitudes toward himself. In addition, if he had a father who seemed weak-willed, emotionally vacant/distant, or too critical and punishing, or if he had no father figure at all, he may struggle with his own identity and the concept or expectations surrounding masculinity. While I’m not personal…

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Is Being Proud of Your Kids Really about You?

…e is that it can come off as pressure. As parents, we can be demanding and critical or praising and prideful, but both sides of the coin can have the same effect; they can make our child feel pressured and disconnected from their own undertakings and accomplishments. Children may feel they have to achieve in order to win their parent’s love. They may feel the added pressure of the parent’s own expectations and how they reflect on their parent. Par…

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Secrets to a Less Stressful Life

…our way or that we can’t control, but what makes matters much worse is a “critical inner voice” we all possess that punishes us unnecessarily and escalates our stress. “How can you sleep? You have so much to do.” “What makes you think you can just relax?” “This is just too much. You can’t handle it.” This voice is a friend to our stress, paving a tunnel for it to pour in and consume our state of mind. Identifying our “inner critic” by noticing wh…

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Changing Sense of Identity

…us by our history. We must also take steps to free ourselves from the self-critical thoughts and self-limiting psychological defenses that have bent us out of shape. In her presentation, Dr. Firestone will introduce the concept of differentiation, a step-by-step approach to revealing one’s true self. She will explain the role of the “critical inner voice” in holding us back and discuss how practicing self-compassion can change the way we see ourse…

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expecting too much in relationship

Are You Expecting Too Much from Your Partner?

…their flaws, reading meaning into their words and actions, or seeing them critically and feeling easily annoyed by things that don’t really matter that much to us. We may even act in ways that provoke certain reactions from our partner. For example, a woman I worked with would complain that she hated when her husband would act parental. She often stated that she wished he would trust her more. She was typically a competent person, but she would o…

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Breaking Free From Bad Relationship Patterns

…ate old, familiar feelings. Recognize the role childhood defenses and the “critical inner voice” play in relationships. Break free of limiting patterns to enjoy stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Many relationship challenges people face are based on negative prescriptions from their past. A person’s earliest attachment experiences serve as models for relationships throughout their lives, influencing everything from the partners they choose t…

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Coping with Grief

…joyous. Because of this, our patience toward ourselves and one another is critical to healing. This may be especially true during this pandemic, as our rituals around grief are disrupted. Our initial reaction to a loss may be shock. It may even be numbness. Our pain may leave us feeling still and somber, or it may feel overwhelming or intolerable. We must meet whatever we’re feeling with patience. Allowing ourselves to feel our emotions fully giv…

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