…elop more constructive approaches to dealing with their anger. Identifying Critical Inner Voices that Promote a Victimized Orientation to Life To move out of the victimized posture, it is important to identify critical inner voices that focus on injustices, such as “It’s not fair. This shouldn’t be happening to you. What did you ever do to deserve such treatment?” These destructive thoughts encourage passivity and helplessness while discouraging a…
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…and author Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice. The Critical Inner Voice is created from experiences we had as children that caused us to turn against ourselves and develop negative self-perceptions. When left unchallenged, this inner critic can dictate our lives. A perfect illustration of this takes place in the classic film “Annie Hall.” When a young couple (Annie and Alvie) first meet, an awkward dialogue takes place betw…
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…r than someone who is charismatic or the “life of the party”. Identify the critical inner voices or destructive thoughts that promote vanity, “You’re smarter, (better, more beautiful) than most other people. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to.” Also become familiar with thoughts that foster vanity’s down-side, which is low self-esteem: “You’re so unattractive. You’re such a failure. You’ll never amount to anything.” It really clarifi…
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…us into destructive behavior then pounces on us the minute we mess up. The critical inner voice is a driving force behind an eating disorder, and to challenge an unhealthy relationship with food, a person must deal with this internal enemy. We live in a society that supports being slim, sometimes to the extreme. This unrealistic ideal can be used in the service of our inner critic to put ourselves down, to feel inadequate , or to isolate us from t…
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…nner voice,” a destructive pattern of thoughts that fuels self-hatred. The critical inner voice is like a sadistic coach who comments on our lives and torments us. It undermines our goals and kicks us when we’re down. People with depression often strongly experience this “voice,” driving feelings of hopelessness, unworthiness or shame, a concept I’ll elaborate on in two upcoming Webinars on depression. In Voice Therapy, you are first asked to voca…
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…ces” you experience about yourself, others, and the world around you. This critical internal commentary often represents the views of our early caretakers. It can be valuable to reflect on the messages you received from their attitudes toward you, labels you were given in the family, and what each parent actually thought about you. Often, as adults, we are still experiencing our lives through the filter of these negative points of view. Starting t…
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…think back to the moment when our mood changed, we can identify a slew of critical inner voices that filled our heads just beforehand. It’s vital to catch on to this “voice” when it seeps in and separate what it’s telling us about ourselves and others from how we actually are and how we want to be. Once we’re in a bad mood, this voice may berate us with mean attacks like, “You’ll never get out of this slump.” If we don’t challenge this inner crit…
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…ssess to varying degrees. Although this isn’t an actual voice we hear, the critical inner voice describes destructive thoughts we all experience toward ourselves, as if a critic is living in our heads commenting on our actions. It was this inner critic that had been telling my sister – a straight-A student – that this time, her grades wouldn’t be good enough. And it was this same critic who told her she wouldn’t get into graduate school in the fir…
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…that she actually enjoys kids. Through therapy, she came to identify this critical voice that told her she didn’t want to have children as her mother’s and not her own. As a powerless child, with a mother who frequently referred to her two daughters as “little brats,” abusing them both physically and verbally, it felt safer for my friend to identify with the aggressor and take on the point of view of the person who scared her. By aligning herself…
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…. Before the simple matter could be resolved, he was accusing her of being critical and controlling, and she was defending herself and declaring him to be over-reactive and infantile. In these moments of tension, we must take a break and reflect. Don’t feed your feelings of hurt. Instead, step aside and ask yourself what you’re really reacting to and why. Identify patterns – A man recently came into my office, up in arms that his girlfriend was be…
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