…onship. Learn more about styles of attachment here. Becoming aware of your critical inner voice and how it impacts your relationship. To varying degrees, we all have an enemy within, a part of ourselves that operates inside our heads in much the same way a malicious coach would, criticizing us and offering up bad advice. The critical inner voice does not support our loving, vulnerable self, but rather our destructive attitudes and behavior. It com…
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…cusses a variety of topics including childhood trauma, complex trauma, the critical inner voice, violence, incest and parenting. YouTube responded with an error: Invalid Value Order the Full DVD Interview: Attachment, Trauma and Dissociation In this DVD, Dr. Christine Courtois draws upon her expertise in the field of trauma to discuss a variety of trauma related topics. She begins by talking about her work with survivors of childhood trauma, inclu…
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…always arise between two, independent-minded people, and it’s easy to get critical of someone who we know well enough to witness their weaknesses. When trouble starts brewing, expect the rush of critical thoughts to come into your head, roaring through like a passing train. Then, know that you can decide whether or not to jump on the train. Reflect on your patterns. Once we’ve calmed down and stepped away from a heated situation with our partner,…
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…necessary, by soothing ourselves. We can take our side by challenging our critical self-attacks and, thereby, offering ourselves compassion and love. We can be more willing to feel our sadness, anger, or the deeper primary emotions that make us feel more connected to ourselves. We can feel our feelings rather than suppressing them and allowing them to silently dictate our lives. When we live in harmony with our emotions, we become more in touch w…
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…ons may seem like the last thing you want to do,” they write. “But it is a critical step in the healing process.” Find mindfulness exercises and strategies to calm down here. Don’t ruminate One of the main benefits of mindfulness is that it helps us to avoid rumination. A recent UK study of more than 30,000 people showed that harping on negative life events (particularly through rumination and self-blame) can be the prime predictor of some of the…
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…ct absorbed in thoughts and “voices” that represented their anti-self? The critical inner voice undermines the ability to interpret events realistically, triggers negative moods, and sabotages the pursuit of satisfaction and joy in life. These destructive thoughts, which exists to varying degrees in each of us, lead to a sense of alienation, a feeling of being removed from ourselves and distant from those we love. We often have little awareness of…
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…hen and where we developed these self-perceptions in the first place. Our “critical inner voice” starts to take shape very early in our development when we internalize negative attitudes our parents had toward us and themselves. Perhaps as children, we felt unwanted or powerless. Then, as an adult, we continue to see ourselves as undesirable and weak. When trying to be strong with our own kids, we may feel bombarded with critical inner voice attac…
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…at is aroused. The anxiety will gradually subside as you adjust to a realistic way of seeing yourself and to achieving genuine success in the real world. Related Articles: What Are Defenses? Critical Inner Voice How to Identify Your Critical Inner Voice Related Books: Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion …
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…ay? Don’t get used to this; it will never last.” It’s not uncommon for our critical inner voice to enter into our lives at times when we are actually getting what we want. While punishing and unpleasant, these self-critical points of identity have become familiar and can cause us anxiety when we attempt to challenge them. By challenging the ways we limit ourselves and expanding what we allow ourselves to have, we build a richer, more rewarding lif…
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…evelop or alter in ourselves, we have to be careful about not allowing our critical inner voice to get carried away with laundry lists centered on self-improvement. The critical inner voice is sneaky and tends to run wild with any evidence of imperfection. For example, you may miss a deadline, and it starts in with, “You see? I told you that you couldn’t do this job. You’re incompetent. Now, you have to push harder, work longer hours. Don’t think…
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