How to Move On
“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” ~ Paulo Coelho
Moving on from a relationship is one of the most difficult transitions in a person’s life. And while each of us moves on in our own way and on our own time, one truth is almost universal: we all face this challenge at some point in our lives. One thing that we are not is alone in our suffering. Recently, it was discovered that, on average, people spend about 18 months of their lives getting over breakups. The good news is that, although it takes time, people are able to move on. And when they do, they leave behind lessons, actual, tangible, lived-experience ways to heal. Because, eventually, we do heal.
Before we get into the tools and techniques for how to move on, I hope that anyone reading this would take a second to allow themselves to have feeling for the fact that this is hard. No matter how many people have been down this road before us, this moment we’re living through is probably a painful place to be. One of the best ways to deal with the reality of that pain is to meet it with compassion. Neither denying the feeling nor allowing ourselves to ruminate in it offers us the freedom we need to move on. Instead, we can show ourselves the kindness and treatment that we would a friend – an acknowledgment of what we feel paired with the reality-check that it will pass.
A note about timing
When people are struggling after a relationship ends, their first question is often “how long will this last?” Of course, there is no magic formula to answer this question. According to one study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, more than 70 percent of participants took a little less than three months to move on or “see the positive aspects from their breakup” and to feel goal-oriented and like they’d experienced personal growth. Unsurprisingly, it’s around this same time (just over the three-month mark) that another survey said people start dating someone else in a real way, in which they’re focused on the new situation more than the old.
Of course, every person is unique, as are their relationships. The point of repeating these numbers is simply to emphasize that healing can take time. We should try to maintain a patient and gentle approach to this fact. Bad days are part of a longer journey, and it absolutely will get better. It may not feel like it, but time, truthfully, is on our side.
15-Steps for How to Move On:
Look at your life as a journey
It’s important to keep in mind that everyone who’s doing okay now has had moments when they thought they’d never be okay. A breakup may feel like the end of the world, but years from now, a struggle of today will feel like a lesson from the past. The more we can look at our lives as fluid and not fixed, the more we can see our experiences in perspective. The end of a relationship is not the end of our story. Whether we’re with someone or on our own, no one else can possess our story or our identity. We may leave a relationship feeling like we left part of ourselves behind, wondering how to move on without the other person, but the truth is we are still whole, still evolving, and still growing all the time.
Keeping the imagery of movement in our minds is a way of preventing ourselves from being caught in the whirlpool of an inner critic that tells us we will never be able to move on or feel like ourselves again.
Silence your inner critic
The “critical inner voice” is a term used by Dr. Robert Firestone to describe a negative thought process we all have that is like an internalized nemesis. This cruel “voice” criticizes, coaches, and even pities us (and others) in ways that undermine us when we’re up and kick us when we’re down. A lot of the pain and suffering we experience after a breakup is owed to this inner critic. Common post-breakup “voices” include:
- “I told you she would leave you.”
- “You have nothing now.”
- “No one will ever love you.”
- “You’ll always be alone.”
- “You can’t trust people.”
- “You should just forget about relationships.”
- “Have a drink. It will make you feel better.”
- “Just be alone. No one wants to see you right now.”
Getting caught up in this internal dialogue makes the process of figuring out how to move on much more difficult. However, we can get to know this voice as the enemy it really is and learn to separate it from our real point of view by reading about the steps to overcome the critical inner voice.
There is always real loss that comes with breaking up, however, we also tend to look back on our relationships with a zoom lens on the good and blinders on the bad. “Reflect on the relationship for what it was,” advised Dr. Karen Weinstein in an interview with Business Insider. “Resist the common tendency to idealize the relationship. It’s very common to only recall and focus on the wonderful aspects of the relationship. This makes it even harder to accept the reality that it’s over and is the equivalent of ‘denial’ in the stages of grief.” Remembering that there were struggles and issues in the relationship and real reasons why we are no longer together can help us feel more resilient and resolved toward moving on.
Let go of fantasy
Idealizing our partner or a relationship isn’t just something that happens after we split up. Often, couples enter into what Dr. Firestone calls a “fantasy bond,” an illusion of connection that replaces real relating and genuine acts of love and intimacy. Symptoms of a fantasy bond can include relating as a unit, valuing the form of being a couple over the substance of making contact, falling into routine, lacking independence, engaging in less affection, and entering into dynamics of control and submission as opposed to equality. The quality of the relationship often deteriorates as real love is replaced with a fantasy bond. The couple may stay together based on a fantasy that their partner will somehow “save” them. Or, they may split up, because the elements that first drew them together are no longer operating.
When we’re in a fantasy bond and the relationship ends, it’s even harder to move on, because we don’t only mourn the loss of the person but the loss of the fantasy. This fantasy dynamic can also lead us to continue to look at the person we lost through an idealized lens. “When a fantasy bond is broken, we are more likely to mourn the end of our false sense of security than the end of real, loving relating,” wrote Dr. Lisa Firestone. “When we break up with someone, and we are willing to let go of this illusion of connection, we might find that we are far less devastated by the separation.” Breaking the fantasy bond with a former partner is often key to moving on.
Feel the feelings
It’s normal to be emotionally raw after a breakup. Although, these feelings can feel overwhelming, we should remember that emotion comes in waves. It arrives, peaks, and subsides. Accepting our feelings is part of the path to healing. Treat yourself the way you would a friend, and give yourself a break. We can acknowledge the sadness, anger, or fear that arises without handing these feelings over to our inner critic. Remember that our feelings are acceptable, but the thoughts around the feelings, like “you’ll never find anyone else” or “you can’t live without him or her” are not.
Talk about it
Some people believe the way to move on is to just shut down and not talk about it. According to HelpGuide.org, this is the opposite approach to take. “Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal.” Sharing our experience with someone who’s been through it, someone who we trust and can offer sympathy, or someone who helps put us in a good mood is a smart (and unselfish) idea. People want to be there for one another. We may also benefit from seeking the help of a therapist and having a safe and specific outlet for what we’re going through emotionally.
Use this resource to seek help or find a therapist in your area.
Explore your attachment style
A recent study at Pace University showed that how people respond to breakups has a lot to do with their attachment style. The study found that “individuals who reported higher self-esteem, less rejection sensitivity, and lower levels of attachment anxiety reported less adverse effects to break-up.” Learning about how our attachment style impacts our relationships may help us make sense of our own, intense reactions to splitting up. It can also guide us to understand how we operate and why we feel the ways we do in our relationships, in general. For example, perhaps we felt more insecure and clingy toward our partner based on early attachment patterns. Understanding our attachment history can also orient us toward forming more secure attachments in future relationships.
Believe in yourself
Stanford researchers recently discovered that a person’s “basic beliefs about personality can contribute to whether [they] recover from, or remain mired in, the pain of rejection.” They found that individuals who saw personality as fixed were more likely to blame themselves and their “toxic personalities” for the breakup. They were more likely to question and criticize themselves and feel more hopeless about their romantic future. However, individuals who saw their personalities as “changeable” were more inclined to view their breakup as an opportunity to grow, develop, and change. They were hopeful about their future relationships and were able to move on more easily. If we can stand up to our inner critic and believe in our own adaptability, we can actually figure out how to move on more successfully.
Self-compassion can be a key ingredient to healing from a breakup. “If you pick all of the variables that predict how people will do after their marriage ends, self-compassion really carries the day,” said researcher David Sbarra of University of Arizona, after interviewing more than 100 recently divorced individuals. According to Greater Good Magazine, Sbarra’s research showed that “those with high self-compassion reported fewer intrusive negative thoughts, fewer bad dreams about the divorce, and less negative rumination. Self-compassion had a greater impact than other traits, habits, or even practical details.”
Dr. Kristin Neff, a lead researcher on self-compassion wrote that it “involves acting the same way towards yourself when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a ‘stiff upper lip’ mentality, you stop to tell yourself ‘this is really difficult right now,’ how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?” She defines self-compassion as having three main elements:
- Self-kindness as opposed to self-judgment
- Common humanity as opposed to isolation
- Mindfulness as opposed to over-identification
Embracing each of these elements can help us on our journey as we discover how to move on.
Learn more about the practice of self-compassion here.
Dr. Lisa Firestone describes mindfulness as “an incredible tool to help people understand, tolerate, and deal with their emotions in healthy ways.” Practicing mindfulness meditation has been shown to reduce stress by teaching us to accept our thoughts and feelings without over-identifying and being overwhelmed by them or judging ourselves harshly.
Headspace is an app that guides people through simple mindfulness exercises, allowing them to easily integrate a practice into daily life. Their suggestions for using mindfulness to get through a breakup include paying attention to the stories our mind is telling us, acknowledging them, but not necessarily believing them, letting ourselves feel our emotions, focusing on gratitude, and making time each day for a mindfulness exercise. “Sitting mindfully with intense emotions may seem like the last thing you want to do,” they write. “But it is a critical step in the healing process.”
Find mindfulness exercises and strategies to calm down here.
One of the main benefits of mindfulness is that it helps us to avoid rumination. A recent UK study of more than 30,000 people showed that harping on negative life events (particularly through rumination and self-blame) can be the prime predictor of some of the most common mental health problems. So, while we should certainly talk openly about our struggles and feel our feelings about a breakup, we should be wary of indulging in obsessive or sinking thoughts that lead us down a dark path. We can help ourselves catch on to when we start ruminating when we notice our critical inner voices creeping in or our mood shifting for the worse.
Find a support team
Our friends can be the best tool we have when we’re figuring out how to move on. Whenever we are experiencing any difficulty or transition in life, it’s helpful to put together a support team, a group of people we know we can turn to when we feel our worst. This list can be long or short. It can include family, friends, counselors, or co-workers. The only critieria is that we choose people who help us feel positive and more like ourselves. Seeking the company of someone who tends to ruminate or commiserate with us isn’t the most effective way to help ourselves move on. Our support team should include people with whom we can be open, honest, and emotive, but who also make sure to help us steer our thoughts away from our inner critic.
When we’re stuck in the pain and confusion of a breakup, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Losing sleep or sleeping too much, eating too much or too little, drinking alcohol, or engaging in less activity can exacerbate negative emotions. No matter how low we feel, we should treat ourselves (and our bodies) like a friend and remember to take care of them. We must remember the basics: exercise, sleep, and eat. Even light exercise or just getting outside can boost our mood by releasing endorphins. Lack of rest can make us feel more stressed, anxious, and disoriented. Too much sleep can leave us groggy or lethargic. To be of sound mind, we should strive for a balance and give ourselves the time we need to rest.
The same goes for how we eat. Whether we indulge in a box of cupcakes or start skipping meals, we are doing our minds and bodies a disservice if we aren’t treating ourselves kindly. We should try eating wholesome foods that nourish our body and that we enjoy. And while it can be tempting to drink alcohol or seek the escape of a high, the lows we experience either during or following the use of a substance can be exaggerated and set us back emotionally.
Try new things and old ones, too
Deepak Chopra said, “In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.” One of the healthiest ways to move on is to find ways to connect to yourself as an individual. If many things we like to do feel tied to our partner, we should seek out new activities and make new memories that are our own. We can try taking a class, visiting a new city, volunteering, going out with a new friend, taking up a hobby, or eating at different restaurants – anything that feels exploratory and unique to us.
On the flip side, we can also do things we used to like to do. Perhaps, there’s an activity we stopped doing as much when we got into a relationship that we can try again – maybe a sport or a creative pursuit. Contrary to popular belief, we do not have to give up friends, activities, or sections of an entire city when we break up with someone. However, if certain things trigger us emotionally that we’d rather take some time away from, that’s fine, too. The main objective is to do the things that make us feel the most ourselves, whether that means discovering new aspects of who we are or reconnecting with old ones.
When we are suffering, we can get lost in our own worlds and minds. The more we can connect with others, the more we can forget about (or at least stop catastrophizing) our own struggles. Being generous has surprisingly healing benefits. Volunteering can be a welcome distraction and valuable use of our time. Even simply practicing small acts of generosity in a given day can help us to move on. Smiling at the person who serves us coffee, initiating a warm conversation with someone at work, making time to ask friends about what’s going on in their lives, helping someone who’s lost on a street corner – these are all little, positive ways to take us out of our heads, make us feel good about ourselves, and improve our outlook on the world around us.
In this Webinar: By truly understanding the emotions triggered by a breakup or rejection, people can free themselves of much of their suffering…
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Hi I would like to say. I believe in love even after all i have been through. I want other people to realise that what you want is something real. Not sex with randoms. Or a life you think is right for you. Be honest with yourself. Find what makes you happy and dam the consequences.
I started to feel love too but now after reading this. This make me forget my Ex!
And make sure you have a non toxic relationship
Love is brutal. Love is kind. Love is what everyone wants to find. Love is an elusive friend. I so need you please be mine. I have been patient and true so come running love I so want you.
Haha, nice. I fell in love, whilst being in a long term relationship. Its been 2-3 years but I’m still trying to move on in alot of ways.
There is a lot of truth in this article. I definitely needed to read this today.
Thank you for this. It definitely helped in consoling me. Love hurts sometimes.
Just found out that she is in a relationship with a new guy. We still talk and it’s so painfully hard to move on after 4 yrs of marriages and even worse I see her everyday because she is working in my home.. can’t fire her because she has kids.. simply dunno what to do..
Hi . I broke up w my gf a year ago and i still cant move on after what we have gone through together its s hard for me to forget abt the memories
hey how are you now?
you will be fine 🙁 I was also a brokenhearted. Always fighting but never being fight?
He said me better to end it here cause it will hurt us more afterwards how much should I fight for him .
Hi, I’m been divorced for one year and I still have trouble moving on I cry from time to time for him. Once I went to his home and he open the door but he slammed the door on my face without saying a word. I just can’t get him off of my head and heart after all the bad thing he did tome.
I hope you are doing well now and growing strong,
putting yourself as your first priority.
God loves you and is there. How are you?? l know you’re strong, you are stronger than your issues.
Thank you for saying that I was crying for. My ex now I realize how I need to move on now
Every day I pray … helps me to keep moving forward… I found a place to live on my own ,put the past behind me & deal with the present and future… 20yrs is along time ,but you know… you only get one ticket for this ride we call life … so build a new castle in your own kingdom and one day the sun will shine and on the horizon your real queen will ride in and say … got a cup of coffee for me …James ?
i dont know how to phrase my words but honestly i wanted to say that you are a real fighter.. though i not know you or have seen you ever in person i want to tell you that you are going through a tough time , ofcourse the pain that you are enduring right now is too much to take in, but i assure you in the upcoming days you will find someone fall madly in love with and will have moved on in the blink of an eye.. and also i dont know if this will ever help or not but if you really want to put the past behind you.. you gotta delete the memories first from your google photos too everything, i know this will hurt but remember it hurts too much before healing.. all my best wishes are with you.. —– Avipsa
Thank you for this.
^ wonderful article, it gives real value. Easy to understand steps with good explanations. As someone going through a breakup this resonates with me. Gives me strength and hope for moving on. Especially the part about Self compassion.
Thank you, Carolyn
This is worth reading. The best thing for me is to make a list of the reasons you’re NOT together. I realised after a few months I was becoming obsessed with fantasy of what I was hoping our relationship could have been, rather than what it was. And the reality is… certainly not the fantasy. Let that person go, they’re not giving you the relationship you want/they want. If they were you’d be together.
After 31 years he cheated…then he left. I’m so heartbroken and devastated that I can’t be angry yet. I cry all the time. I am trying to find my inner strength and then I get sucked back under. I’m struggling.
Well, Oh My, how are you today? I know it has probably been a very hard road. I pray you have found peace in your soul knowing you were stronger, more loyal, and a better more righteous person than him in every way. Stay true to yourself and hold on to spirit. This has passed by now I am sure.
I’ve devoted my entire life to learning the art of chess. I let my opponent win, tarnishing my record and plunging myself into a depression. No matter how many comments and blogs I read, nothing can mend my heart. Please tell me how to fix myself, or get rid of those who ruined me.
Thank you for this post.. it still help to this day a lot of people, you’re an amazing person whoever wrote this… ❤❤❤?
helo itsbeen 3 yrsy still there
Thank you for supporting me
it hurts ?
Its hard to move on when you always see that person everyday and just doing fine, and had to pretend that you are too while your not, being jealous of whos chasing him around and not loving him is harder than he knows. 😭
I want to give it a try over and over and over again and I find myself drowned just to save our relationship . Its not easy ! No one to talk to .😭
I’m going through the same i think he opened the door for me to leave and i try to just save the relationship but i have to accept that he doesn’t want me and now i’m trying to move on
I am also going through the same thing. The difference is that his actions still gives me a reason to fight for our love but his words always tells me to move on. I am so confused. He told me that he want me to move on and continue my life and if one day he’s ready and there’s still a spark, we may continue our relationship. But he also told me that he can easily be attracted to someone else especially now that he’s single so I should not wait for him and he doesn’t want someone waiting for him because for him it feels like he’s being chained. I’ll go back here someday and tell my self today what happened. I am still hoping we would end up together.
even i am also in this same situation. he wants to be frnds. he said that he cares me a lot. and yup thats true, he cares me lot. but he doesn’t want the relationship.he said to move on then onlyin future , there may be chance of get back together else it will be difficult and i will hate yu. i am broken completely, he is the one who proposed me, chased me for two months, now he is the one asked me to move on 🙁
Hi, I’m Jose and I’m in deep pain after I broke up with my girlfriend whom I loved so much.
I don’t know what to do, have tried but still I haven’t moved on fully ….we still talk and lately she said she’s getting married which made me go back to tears. I’m crying each and everyday. Help please.
I’m so sorry dude. I wish I could say something that would help
I hope you are better now Jose. You’re awesome and you will get stronger.
I hope you are well now 😊 Jose
I’m just going Tru it myself. But i refuse to dwell on how lonely i feel hurt, unworthy. He is n was no good for me . I deserve so much more.
I’ve been broken hearted. I can stop thinking about her and can’t get over her. Nothing I do works. It’s impossible. Love isn’t meant for me.
Thank you for sharing, I now see that I am not alone…. I do hope we will find that love we deserve one day. Take care!
It’s really hard when someone walked away from you and it is even hard to know that they are no longer in your life. Just accept this denial as a lesson and make it as an opportunity to become more disciplined human being. Try not to dwell on the past and stop the blame game. After all this is a lesson that no one will ever taught. Be thankful for them. You still have chances to fix your shortcomings and concentrate on the better version of yourself.
Moving on is easier said than done. They say 1 month you will feel better. I’m not so sure of that…. lol
I really feel peaceful after read this thanks for supporting fam🤞🏻🖤keep supporting like this
My stubbornness is nailing me to a life suffering. Right before my 26 years marriage divorce was finalized, I jumped into a relationship hoping this will help me forget my past and move on. Now I’m stuck in a relationship that nether of us are happy. Fact is, I’m too occupied with embarrassment if this relationship also fail instead of satisfying my true call, my true happiness. I am suffering.
thank you so much for this,it really makes me feel better while reading.
Hi im agnes i’ve just realiased that i love a person who does’ nt love he only use me,so i need to move on plz help me.
Really thankful for this
it makes me feel better 🥺😊
Thank you guys I feel better now😊😍
I fell for a guy and I never chase them but I did with this one, and it really hurt me when it ended, but it allowed me to grow so much. In ways, I never knew how.
I broke up with my boyfriend today. it hurts so bad. My eyes are swollen because of crying and the pain won’t stop. I still love him but our relationship is becoming more and more toxic than what it was before. He is taking me for granted. I gave him a million chance to be with me because he always say that he loves me but after that, we are going in circles again and again treating me like a trash.
I’m in this same situation. It hurts.
May we find the love we deserve that will make us never remember ever experiencing this.
Hi, also me am at this situation he said he love me but I see he didn’t. May God help us to get those who can love us truly and respect ya🙏🏼
Same here….been two weeks since the day I’ve completely blocked him. I miss him so much still though….so tempting to contact him again…i love him so much but i know we are not good for each other…we tried, but our relationship is toxic for us.
Same here it’s been a week since we broke up but it still hurt like hell. It so sad how people take us for granted when all we do is to love them purely.
Thanks for your tips. It’s going to help me get through the heartache. However, do you really think that it is possible to stay positive while in the process of moving on? Can I really resist talking bitter and so on? I read from this article that it is really possible: https://thejaimetimes.tumblr.com/post/616462292147748864/struggle-to-move-on-but-try-to-stay-positive
I feel like someone comforted me by reading this article. My gf broke me up just this while ago. 5 years with beautiful memories will now come to fade and be forgotten. Being a loyal doesn’t guarantee to a relationship will bound to happily everly after. Hope to apply what I have learned from you-author of this article.
Thank you and continue to be a blessing to others.
When I finish to read I realize I need to be strong and to cheer up myself and try to live as a single and enjoy all moment with families and friends and I learn don’t give all of love to someone. They come yes! But after all of happily moment that you have them but in the end they leave with full of pain so don’t give full of love and trust to someone….
Thank you for this article, it lighten my feelings.. im hurt and feeling reall down. He just told me Move on with your life! Cannot take this 😔
thank you these help me a lot
I have litterly done by best and then some boyfriemd went to jail while I was prego for 3 months I raised his 14 yrold and my 14 yr old and the minister he got out he decided to stay gone all night and day not even 2 weeks out and during my pregnancy talked to other women we went to texas w when the baby was 3 weeks old and i found him calling escorts while we were on our family vacation I have struggled to give this man the world for 4 yrs while he kicks it and cheats on me cant have a serious convoy about our future but can tell hoes hell do what ever it takes to get to them and gives me every sign he dont care for me he just got medicated with anti sicotics and I’m drained to point idgaf idk what to do anymore I quit begging for love cuz I’m perfect besides my 240 lb body but I did have baby so idk anymore or care im done being ride or die for a temporary pos sorry not sorry
Cheer up…value yourself for the sake of your baby. This is not just for you, it’s for your baby’s future. So faithing girl! Fight with faith 🥰😇
Thank you so much this tips are helpful
After I read this I realized that I have to be strong and move on I have to live my life and let go of this man who is unfaithful to me, cheated on me, and the most thing he dated with woman who their age is big than his only for money 💔
Thank you for this~
When you need to move on you should also trust in God he is everything will give you a new hope and new life don’t rush to other relationships to comfort yourself no ..only God can comfort you and find someone who is real because God knows what is good for us..we put our trust in him ..
Thanks for this❤️after I read it, I realized that I was too dependant on him, and maybe this time, I should let myself take care of me and help overcome this kind of challenge in my teenage year❤️thankyu so much for the advices❤️and to every one out there who is also suffering from moving on, just read this, it is worth to read…
Had break-up. Unable to move on after 6 months also.
Hopefully after reading this article, things would be bit smooth. Also, how to stop yourself from trying to get in that relationship?
Create lines as final words to say to him. Forget the name, forget how you saw him. Uninstall social media apps- to avoid quotes running at your timeline. Focus on how to grow. Be independent and someday, he is just someone passby. Change yourself for better. Never be alone. Always talk to someone. Date Someone. Make a bucketlist. Always think ” you can make it.”
I have met someone thru social media and we really do have a lot in common, we made plans too cause we are miles away. As time passes by he is always been busy and we often now fight, he said he is working hard so that he can save and come and see me but you just know in your gut that there’s something wrong. We ended things a lot but still one of us comes back and he did too, after telling me he found someone he can actually meet and near him after a week he goes texting me back that he still can’t let me go, and I am confused cause he doesn’t even wanna ask me to be his girlfriend. I do thank this post because I am caught up with the fantasy as well that I have built in my mind, plans that we were in it and just looked so happy. I do wish I don’t fantasize about happiness that much cause it’s making me blind with the fantasy. Thank you to this website cause I’ve been devastated and depressed and thinking about suicide because you know that feeling, that pain that you just wish for it to end and just wish to sleep all the time so you won’t feel that pain! Stay strong you guys, we deserve love and we will have em one day.
My family really liked him how do I tell them that it’s over we are no longer together…I don’t have anybody to talk to about this breakup 😔😔
Sometimes you just have to say fuck it!!!!!. I had 3 surgeries in 8 months. Lost half my income. Lost my car. My landlord is chasing me out and I broke up with my girlfriend 2 days before we were supposed to get married. So what!!!! Life ain’t a pity party. Life ain’t gonna stop because someone left you.
my girlfriend was cheated on me and it’s really hard to believe after what we have been through together i was super helpful for her and suddenly for no reason she meet another guys and change
no idea what for now I am really broken I have love her in a way no one can imagine and i was trash to her
god help all of us it’s hard
just a little story about me, im a gamer.. my dream is to be an streamer since i was a little boy so i stream now when i have time, by saying time i mean.. knowing the reality i know that my streams arent gonna be success since i live in a small country that almost everyone dosnt know about, knowing i wouldnt live up to my dreams ive started working my ash off and made it up to an manager, managing an restaurant, hotel and 3 nightclubs at age 20 so i can afford to have my own place and start buying up my equipment for streamin.. as i gained success i started paying for my dads place and his moms place for 3 and a half yrs, had to close up my heart and my thoughts, quit my management position and move to an another city.. met a quite lovely lady over here and started a new job after 2 weeks since my arrival and started grinding my way back up on that job ive just gotten, a yr later i got promoted to manager and still dating the woman i met, 3rd yr we moved together and i started streaming 4th yr we got engaged which is now.. but after we got engaged, her family started asking us for some money nd food but i had told her abt my old life that time my own family used me for my money so i had an conversation with her abt it and the fact that i dont never wanna feel being used for money again she said she understood but no.. just right now i have now spoken to her abt it for the 3rd time! like i dont work my ash off just to give ppl some stuff and moneys! ive been grinding to make a good living for total 10 yrs!! 13 if i include that i also had to pay rent for the house when i was 14 bcuz my dad left us and my mom was an single mother with 2 teenage kids and a 2 yr old baby! so basically yh my mom? understandable that she needs help but i can never ever forgive my dad for what he did make me do for 8 yrs, i couldve had gotten more education and lived my youth but no i had to grind for this cruel reality that we live in at young age. i know this article is abt something lil different but thanks for letting me type all these things off my chest. every one of u is amazing and strong! love u all and keep progressing!! <3
I can’t believe I am now here and reading this advices😭
Love is one of the most beautiful , powerful feelings a human can experience in life . Love will take you to a different kind of Level of emotions that one can’t explain with words . Yet love is the one thing that can Destroy your whole entire world apart . But yet we humans find our selfs constantly in search for love.
He just left me without saying anything, I don’t know when should i start to move om, it’s so hard. I don’t know if he’ll come back. Help me.
You’ll be fine soon. 😉😉
i just had a break with the father of my child. the child keeps on asking me why did i break up with the father please help me
I broke up with my guy three weeks now
Am trying to let go of everything but I can’t
Am really hurt
I just want to forget about him completely but I can’t do it
Please someone should give me tips here on how to forget about him
How are you now faiza i’m going through the same too here
Maybe it’s best not to forget, but to cherish the time you did have together and take those memories with you to get you through the tough times. As time progresses, you will make your own beautiful memories, and don’t need to depend on the ones with him.
your article look unique and i am happy after reading
Good for Get your love back
My heart was shattered after 20 yrs when I found it he was cheating. Said he wanted to work on it but his actions were not showing me. I finally threw him out after not coming home one night. He blames me for everything and takes no responsibility for his actions. I’ve cried everyday for a month now. In my mind I know it was the best thing but I can’t stop thinking about him. Funny thing is now all my friends tell me what a narcissist he was and how bad he treated and used me. Why can’t I let this fantasy of a relationship go???
After 13 years in a relationship he announced that he had found someone–his true soulmate. For the first time in my life I was jealous of another woman, kept comparing myself to her and she seemed perfect. I made the mistake of letting them both have it in a semi-public setting (mostly letting HIM have it, while she kept defending him). Finally he got up and walked away. I knew it was because I was telling some harsh truths he didn’t want to hear. Now I am just so angry with him and even more, angry with myself for putting up with him for all those years and allowing him to emotionally abuse me. Right now I don’t recognize myself. I feel mean and ugly and that’s not who I am. I can’t shake these horrible thoughts and I desperately want to get past it quickly. How can I let go of this anger?
Was looking for some takes regarding this topic and I found your article quite informative. It has given me a fresh perspective on the topic tackled. Thanks!
I feel relieved, thank you so much…
Hi Joyce! So apprecitative of this article! Helped my desperate friend get over her.. crush. Supes cute!