Search Results for: couples experiencing relationship trouble

how to accept compliments

The Importance of Accepting Compliments

…one’s compliments, the partner can become hurt and confused. Working in a relationship with a trauma survivor means knowing how helpful it is to see this difficulty, and not to give up: “Well you don’t have to believe it, but I will for both of us right now.” The ability to accept compliments does more than feed healthy relationships. It is also important to developing self-confidence and an awareness of how to enjoy life and take good care of yo…

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trauma emdr

A Guide to EMDR and Trauma

…EMDR phases 3 – 8 with someone who has yet to experience a safe, trusting relationship. Without sobriety and trust between client and therapist, it is not reasonable to expect 1) that EMDR will work, or more importantly, that 2) EMDR processing will be in the best interest of the patient’s wellbeing. You must remain in phase 1 and 2 of the EMDR model until safety and stabilization, including emotional regulation, can occur. This is why a trauma-i…

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Why We Must Keep Nurturing Connection

…unimportant or a chore. Repair Ruptures Things inevitably happen in every relationship that cause ruptures. Miscommunications with our partner, arguments with our kids, times we “lose it” with a friend, all of these things will ultimately occur, because we are human. We come to any relationship armed with a tough inner critic and a complex attachment history, so there are bound to be ways we act in moments that we regret. The best thing we can do…

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Injured, Not Broken: Why It’s So Hard to Know You Have CPTSD

…uma survivors long to be loved. Yet they struggle to find and keep healthy relationships. They are often at a loss to build trusting relationships, based on their childhood experiences. CPTSD is so deeply ingrained in the nervous system and self-view, it’s hard to see. It’s hard to isolate what’s caused by CPTSD and what’s not because it impacts just about every part of emotional and personal development! In those with CPTSD, the nervous system re…

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Rudeness and Disrespect: What to Do and How to Manage

…ue. In the absence of guidance on how to express distressing emotions, the relationship can become adversarial or cut off decreasing the likelihood that the child or teen will listen to anything you have to offer. Instead, they may look for solutions on their own to avoid you and future conflicts by lying or sneaking. This, in turn, damages the relationship further, building mistrust and resentment with the unfortunate outcome of alienating the ch…

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Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

…gging in means tuning out. Technology is coming between us and our closest relationships. But before we blame the laptop or sell the TV, it’s important to consider our own relationship to technology. .   Articles on Parenting How Childhood Defenses Hurt Us as Adults When we internalize destructive attitudes during hurtful or traumatic experiences in our past, we strengthen our “anti-self.” As we grow up, our anti-self resides within us and encoura…

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6 Things Kids Need From Adults to Feel Valued

…one with your child is important because it builds respect, closeness, and relationship. As a result, your child will feel comfortable to come to you when they need you. Share Love: Kids need to know that they are loved by the adults in their lives. Even if a marriage or relationship is no longer workable, the child involved needs to feel assured that they are still loved and supported by both parents. Your child also needs to know that you love t…

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Having an Allergy to a Person – Part 1

…ted on some secret wall of her mind a picture of a perfect mother-daughter relationship. This is her dream — an ideal and a desperate wish! She basically loves this ideal image; whereas, in reality her mother is very critical, stingy and overprotective. Most of the time she feels hostile and aggressive towards her mother, but she would not let reality (presence of hostile feelings towards overcritical mother) cast an evil light upon it (the ideal…

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How to Navigate Dating Effectively ~ For Mature Women + Baby Boomers

…t person, she did not take them for granted. She nurtured and fostered the relationship, and it very quickly blossomed. Second, attitude and intention are key. Andrea was not ready to start dating until she was done with her grieving process around her ex-partner. But when she was ready, she put herself in alignment with her intention and actively put herself out there. She told the world through her actions: “I’m here, and I’m ready to meet that…

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It Is Immoral To Stop People From Loving You

…person, but also on existential fears. Being close to another in a loving relationship makes us aware that life is precious, and that it will come to an end. When we embrace love, we embrace life; and in embracing life, we face death’s inevitability. When people experience the unique combination of love and sex in a committed, meaningful relationship, they feel that they have more to lose, and are poignantly aware of the fragility of the physical…

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