…feeling about ourselves is common because every person is divided. As Dr. Robert Firestone has described, each of us has a “real self,” a part of us that is self-accepting, goal-directed and life-affirming as well as an “anti-self,” a side of us that is self-hating, self-denying, paranoid and suspicious. The anti-self is expressed in our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is like an internal coach negatively commentating on our live…
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…erbates our anxiety. In their book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice, Drs. Robert and Lisa Firestone describe how this voice can contribute to anxiety. It may, for example, pepper our heads with commentary on everything from our jobs to our relationships. “You’re so stupid. You’ll never be able to complete this task.” “You can’t handle this pressure. You’re a failure.” “No one will ever love you, so why even try?” As Dr. Lisa Firestone wrote in he…
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…rities as we go along in life. The most common critical inner voices Dr.’s Robert and Lisa Firestone found people to experience throughout their day include: You’re stupid. You’re unattractive. You never get anything right. You’re not like other people. You’re a failure. You’re fat. You’re such a loser. You’ll never make friends. No one will ever love you. You’ll never be able to quit drinking (smoking etc). You’ll never accomplish anything. What’…
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…de. That means making our critical inner voice are number one enemy. Dr.’s Robert and Lisa Firestone have outlined specific steps we can take to identify these voices, make sense of them, separate from them, and challenge them on an action level. Taking this practice seriously can really help us stay in a healthy and realistic mind frame when recovering from a break up. Read about the steps to challenge your critical inner voice. Don’t Look Back w…
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…hese bonds in their adult relationships as a way to feel protected. As Dr. Robert Firestone wrote, “Most people have fears of intimacy and are self-protective and at the same time are terrified of being alone. Their solution to their emotional dilemma is to form a fantasy bond.” This bond replaces the substance of a loving relationship with the form of being a unit. It keeps people at a comfortable distance emotionally, while maintaining a sense o…
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…ned in our new book, The Self Under Siege. In the book, my co-authors, Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, and I outline a four-step process for differentiating yourself from negative influences from your past and from society at large, in order to become the person you have the potential to be, “your real self.” To be able to recognize and separate from destructive voices, you must first recognize that many thoughts you regard as your own poi…
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…ned in our new book, The Self Under Siege. In the book, my co-authors, Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, and I outline a four-step process for differentiating ourselves from negative influences from our past and from society at large in order to become the person we want to be — “our real self.” This process of differentiation is key to separating from destructive internal coaching and achieving lasting love. To be able to recognize and sepa…
Learn More…fere with career success. This destructive thought process is what authors Robert W. Firestone, PhD. and Lisa Firestone, PhD. term the “critical inner voice.” In 25 years since Dr. Robert W.Firestone first began his investigations and case studies of the critical inner voice, he has gained profound insight into how “voices” are internalized by means of our early experiences. As people begin to uncover why they took on these self-critical attitudes…
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…ountry skiing, extreme sports. What do you mean by the term “courage?” Dr. Robert Firestone: The courage to live according to your principles, and to tolerate the pain or the anxiety of being different from other people, of being creative, of living a unique existence; the courage to face death with equanimity. To stand by one’s beliefs is part of that, too. It takes courage to stand behind one’s beliefs when they run counter to a society or a gro…
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…fluences.” Watch this Whiteboard Video on Differentiation According to Dr. Robert Firestone a person’s true identity is affected throughout their lives by interpersonal experiences that either damage or support the development of his or her personality. Throughout our development, we adapt ourselves to cope with pain and fears, as they arise. We adapt so that we can deal with our early environment and get our needs met. One way we do this is by in…
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