Critical Inner Voice

What’s Wrong with Needing to Be the Best

To strive for greatness is not an unworthy goal, but the desire to be great can be a slippery slope. While all of us have a right to live our lives in pursuit of our dreams, the pressure we now put on ourselves to be special or great can lead to insecurity, narcissism and an actual… Read more »

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Just Be Kind: The Only Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need

You may already be rolling your eyes at the vast oversimplification of this title… and if you were to go back to read the many articles I’ve written on relationships, you’d know that I don’t think the secret to romantic success can be boiled down to one simple piece of advice. However, if people ask… Read more »

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“Nobody Likes Me:” Understanding Loneliness and Self-shame

    There is perhaps no more painful thought in the world than that of “nobody likes me.” It’s an easy feeling to indulge and dwell on, a terrible go-to self-attack in low moments when we feel isolated, depressed, anxious or insecure. This feeling has almost no bearing in reality and no purpose other than… Read more »

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Mindfulness Can Quiet Down the A**Hole Voice in Our Heads

I was recently interviewing ABC News anchor Dan Harris, author of 10% Happier, for an upcoming online symposium on Uncovering Happiness. I really enjoyed spending time with him rapping about what happiness is really about and why mindfulness and compassion can help inspire it. But one of the things that really made me laugh was… Read more »

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How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed

Feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone. A whopping 44 percent of Americans feel more stressed than they did five years ago. In the past 20 years, our society has seen a 60 percent increase in productivity, and to no great surprise, a majority of American adults are reporting that job-related issues are their main source of stress. According to… Read more »

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How to Deal with Relationship Anxiety

Relationships can be one of the most pleasurable things on the planet… but they can also be a breeding ground for anxious thoughts and feelings. Relationship anxiety can arise at pretty much any stage of courtship. For many single people, just the thought of being in a relationship can stir up stress. If and when… Read more »

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Stop Hating Yourself Once and For All

Recently, we’ve called attention to the question of whether narcissism is an epidemic in our nation. Yet, I would argue that it is narcissism’s evil step-sister that is causing the most trouble in people’s lives. Self-hatred is something we may not often say out loud. We prefer softer-sounding terms, like “low self-esteem” or “poor self-image.” The… Read more »

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How to Overcome Insecurity: Why Am I So Insecure?

We are called a narcissistic generation. We are told that technology and social media are giving us an inflated sense of self. But most of us don’t walk around feeling like we are all that great. In fact, there is one underlying emotion that overwhelmingly shapes our self-image and influences our behavior, and that is… Read more »

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3 Steps to Experience the Perfect Imperfect Moment

In many ways, striving for perfection is a recipe for disaster. I’ve spoken with too many people who could never be smart, successful, slim or striking enough to meet their own unrealistic demands. All the while, these individuals failed to experience themselves as a person of value just for being themselves. I’ve worked with countless… Read more »

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The Critical Inner Voice – Whiteboard Animation

Watch this short whiteboard animation to understand the Critical Inner Voice. Discover where the inner critic comes from and how to overcome self-attacks. To learn more about how to Overcome Your Inner Critic sign up for this eCourse. 

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