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Fantasy Bond

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A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of being a “couple.” The degree of reliance on a fantasy bond is proportional to the degree of frustration and pain experienced in a person’s developmental years. In this section, you can learn why fantasy bonds are formed, what qualities make up a fantasy bond, and how to avoid falling into an unhealthy “bond” in your own relationships.

Stay in Love by Staying Out of Fantasy

Learn to Love

There may now be hard science behind the notion that true love can last a lifetime. A neurological study from Stony Brook University revealed that couples who experience “romantic love” long-term can keep their brains firing in similar ways to couples who ...

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Real Love or a Fantasy Bond

fantasy bond webinar

Presenter: Dr. Lisa Firestone 60 Minutes Living a life in which we are truly loved and loving toward another person is not as easy as it is assumed to be. The challenges we face in getting close to someone can ...

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Working with High-Conflict Couples


Presenter: Dr. Lisa Firestone 3 CE Credits – $35 90 Minutes Earn 3 CE Credits by watching the Webinar and reading an article by Dr. Firestone. In 2004, a national survey revealed that “how couples argue was more related to ...

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Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy


Presenter: Dr. Lisa Firestone 1.5 CE Credits – $25 120 Minutes What prevents most people from being able to sustain romantic, meaningful relationships that satisfy their needs and desires? Why do people often feel compelled to punish those closest to ...

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Fantasy Bond


Film supplement to the book “The Fantasy Bond”. In this dynamic interview, Dr. Robert W. Firestone discusses his concept of the “Fantasy Bond” and its relationship to the neurotic process with Dr. Richard Sieden, suicidologist, and Barry Langberg, attorney. The ...

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The Fantasy Bond


Presenters: Dr. Lisa Firestone 1.5 CE Credits – $25 90 Minutes What is real intimacy? How do we define a close relationship? When working with couples what are we trying to help achieve? How do we distinguish between a truly ...

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Sex and Society


Subtitle: Everyday Abuses to Children’s Emerging Sexuality. Distorted attitudes towards sex and prejudicial views of men and women are often learned in family interactions, explicitly through imitation. These disturbances about sexuality are retained throughout life and cause serious problems in ...

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Exploring Relationships


What are people looking for in a mate? Why are many people deceptive in their closest relationships? Why do they find it so difficult to sustain love and closeness? In this film, the participants, with refreshing candor, discuss topics of ...

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Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships

Sex Love

by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. Lisa A. Firestone, Ph.D. Joyce Catlett, M.A. Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships proposes that sexual problems are largely related to defenses acquired through painful childhood experiences, and that individuals can be helped to overcome these ...

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