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Fantasy Bond

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  • Understanding the' Fantasy Bond'

    A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy.

  • How Do I Know if I Have a Fantasy Bond?

    The fantasy bond exists when the reality of a deep, loving feeling is replaced by a more robotic form of going through the motions of an intimate relationship. Many factors including childhood experiences, the repeating of past patterns and a fear of being alone can drive people to a fantasy bond.

  • The Fantasy Bond: A substitute for a truly loving relationship

    A fantasy bond is the antithesis of a healthy personal relationship where individuals are free to express their real feelings and desires. This destructive tie functions to perpetuate feelings of distrust, self-hating thought processes, and the inward behavior patterns that each person brings to the relationship.

  • Breaking the Fantasy Bond with Our Mothers

    As women struggle to become their own person, to develop their own identity, to feel confident in their personal and professional goals, and to keep passion and love alive in their relationship, they often experience a kind of anticipatory fear that their independence and sexuality will threaten the illusory connection with their mother.

A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of being a “couple.” The degree of reliance on a fantasy bond is proportional to the degree of frustration and pain experienced in a person’s developmental years. In this section, you can learn why fantasy bonds are formed, what qualities make up a fantasy bond, and how to avoid falling into an unhealthy “bond” in your own relationships.

Stay in Love by Staying Out of Fantasy

Learn to Love

There may now be hard science behind the notion that true love can last a lifetime. A neurological study from Stony Brook University revealed that couples who experience “romantic love” long-term can keep their brains firing in similar ways to couples who ...

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What Real Love Looks Like

what real love looks like

Throughout our lives we compile a picture of what we think real love should look like. Often this process begins early, as little girls listening to fairy tales at bed time will envision their very own knight in shining armor.   ...

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Why Domestic Violence Occurs and How to Stop It

Man consoling woman, upset, couple

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and with domestic violence on the rise, it is an important time to face this difficult issue. This year, the nationwide Mary Kay Truth About Abuse Survey showed that “8 out of 10 domestic ...

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