Critical Inner Voice

Voice Therapy

In my last blog, I described the “voice” as a series of negative thoughts and attitudes toward self and others, which are at the core of a person’s self-destructive ideology and behavior. As such, the voice can be conceived of as the internal enemy or anti-self aspect of the personality. My approach to psychotherapy is… Read more »

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3 Questions that Can Change the Way You Feel About Sex

Your sexuality is an important part of who you are. This is true regardless of whether you’re in a relationship and whether or not you’re having sex. Whatever your situation, being alive to your sexuality is about to being true to and accepting of yourself; it is not about anyone else. It can mean different… Read more »

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5 Truths about Anxiety to Help You Stay Present

As human beings, we may be designed to be on high-alert for danger, but with information coming at us from all directions and at high-speeds, anxiety is sharply rising, and this adaptation is starting to impair us. Many of us can’t seem to stop our minds from racing forward into fixation over what could go… Read more »

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The Voice (The Enemy Within)

Discover the negative thoughts and attitudes at the core of a person’s maladaptation. The voice consists of a series of negative thoughts and attitudes toward oneself and others that is at the core of a person’s maladaptation. It can be conceptualized as the language of the defense system. The voice is not restricted to thoughts,… Read more »

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Is My Self-Hatred Getting in the Way of Love?

The short answer is: yes! Hating yourself puts you directly at odds with someone who loves you. You each have diametrically opposed points of view about you: your’s being negative and your partner’s being positive. So what can you do to resolve this dilemma? And why does this dilemma exist in the first place? Let’s… Read more »

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Changing Your Sense of Identity

Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »

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How Your Critical Inner Voice Gets in the Way of Love

There’s a nasty defense mechanism that undermines and sabotages your efforts to have love in your life: your critical inner voice. It comes at you from all sides; it goes after you, it badmouths your partner, it slams your relationship, and it attacks love in general. We are mostly unaware of this internal enemy and… Read more »

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Self-Consciousness: How to Reduce Self-Consciousness

The term “self-consciousness” doesn’t sound so bad when broken down. After all, being conscious of oneself is something we all need in order to operate as social beings in a social world. However, self-consciousness often describes an exaggerated focus or uncomfortable attitude we have about ourselves and how we are perceived. The problem with self-consciousness… Read more »

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How to Not Lose Track of What’s Really Important

In any given lifetime, a person can be many things, often, to many people. We are parents, partners, sons or daughters, siblings, best friends, bosses, and co-workers. The many shoes we fill can spread us fairly thin. At times, the very fullness of our lives makes it necessary to prioritize and plan in ways that can… Read more »

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How to Stop Worrying

“That the birds of worry and care fly over your head, this you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent.” – Chinese Proverb For many of us, worry can feel like an uncontrollable force streaming through our lives. We devote a great deal of time to our worries, either… Read more »

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