relationship problems

Where Our Relationship Patterns Come From

What makes us act and react the way we do when it comes to love?  In an ideal world, we would all be born with perfectly attuned parents who love us truly and are there for us whenever we need them, but who also give us just the right amount of space and independence to… Read more »

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What Beyoncé Got Right About Forgiveness According to Science

Unless you live under a rock, by now you’ve likely heard a lot about Beyoncé’s latest triumph Lemonade, a visual album that artfully captures a raw emotional evolution. The album is bold in its head-on dealings with themes of betrayal, each track seeming to trace a progressive path from fury to forgiveness. Throughout, Beyoncé herself appears to… Read more »

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Loving a Trauma Survivor: Understanding Childhood Trauma’s Impact On Relationships

Survivors of childhood trauma deserve all the peace and security that a loving relationship can provide. But a history of abuse or neglect can make trusting another person feel terrifying. Trying to form an intimate relationship may lead to frightening missteps and confusion. How can we better understand the impact of trauma, and help survivors… Read more »

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Why Do Break Ups Hurt Some People More than Others?

How Attachment Style Affects Break Ups  Break ups aren’t easy for anyone, but have you ever noticed that some people seem to cope with them better than others?  While some who’ve loved and lost are barely able to get out of bed, others appear to bounce back immediately. Of course, every relationship is unique, and when one… Read more »

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How to Deal with Jealousy

No one enjoys feeling jealous. Yet, jealousy is an inevitable emotion that pretty much every one of us will experience. The problem with jealousy isn’t that it comes up from time to time, but what it does to us when we don’t get a hold on it.  It can be frightening to experience what happens… Read more »

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Trust Issues: Why Is It So Hard for Some People to Trust?

It is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together.                                                                           ~ H. L. Menken… Read more »

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Just Be Kind: The Only Relationship Advice You’ll Ever Need

You may already be rolling your eyes at the vast oversimplification of this title… and if you were to go back to read the many articles I’ve written on relationships, you’d know that I don’t think the secret to romantic success can be boiled down to one simple piece of advice. However, if people ask… Read more »

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5 Ways You’re Rejecting Love

Most people don’t naturally think they reject love, but the question really isn’t whether we do or not, it’s how much we do and why. I’ve talked a lot in previous blogs about the reasons so many of us are, to some degree, afraid of love, but here I’ll explain the ways this fear manifests in our… Read more »

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How to Say What You Want in Your Relationship

In my 30 years working with couples, I’ve noticed that most people have an easy time describing what they don’t want in their relationship. If prompted, they’re able to rapidly fire off the many issues that they feel are creating distance between them and their partner. Yet, if I ask the same people what they… Read more »

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Tips to Turn Your Relationship Around and Get it Heading in the Right Direction

Barb called me in distress. Mick had just told her that morning that he was going to leave her. He’d met someone else, his secretary. It’s a cliché but as old as the books, it happens. Barb thought she was going to get help for them to end the marriage. She was shattered. However, though… Read more »

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