personal growth

Dealing with Unresolved Trauma

Recently, a friend of mine who suffers from chronic lower back pain came back from yet another visit to the doctor with a bit of unexpected advice. Instead of the usual discussion of shots, medications, physical therapy, or even surgery, his doctor recommended a book, Healing Back Pain: The Mind Body Connection. The book by… Read more »

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Practice the Change You Wish to See in the World

Life is a practice, and what you choose to practice is what makes up your character. It’s worth considering what you value in life, and then making an intention and plan to live alongside those values. Ghandi’s wise words can inspire us to: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Consider… Read more »

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The Fantasy Bond or Primary Defense

This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »

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Changing Your Sense of Identity

Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »

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The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

Taking care of ourselves and doing what we love is NOT selfish Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing. There are many benefits of altruism to both our mental and physical well-being. However, sometimes the messaging we receive to be giving of ourselves, to push ourselves to the… Read more »

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Low Self-Esteem: What Does it Mean to Lack Self-Esteem?

What is Low Self-Esteem Low self-esteem is characterized by a lack of confidence and feeling badly about oneself. People with low self-esteem often feel unlovable, awkward, or incompetent. According to researchers Morris Rosenberg and Timothy J. Owens, who wrote Low Self-Esteem People: A Collective Portrait, people with low self-esteem tend to be hypersensitive. They have… Read more »

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Feeling Like a Failure

“We are all failures – at least the best of us are.” – J.M. Barrie No matter how “successful” a person may seem, we all have moments of feeling like a failure. When things feel smooth at work, we pick apart our parenting skills. When our home life is going well, we criticize our job performance. When… Read more »

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Being Alone: The Pros and Cons of Time Alone

Some people naturally prefer time alone and that can be fine. Roughly 50% of the population can be categorized as introverts, meaning they get the most value in life out of time spent on their own.  Being alone can offer a rich psychological experience, but too much isolation can have a negative impact on both… Read more »

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How to Change a Habit for Good: According to Neuroscience

Most of us walk around in this world in a trance with the delusional belief that we are only autonomous beings that are completely acting with free will. However, many scientists agree that we are interdependent with our environments and our brains are constantly making snap judgments based on internal and external cues. You have… Read more »

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Building Self-Esteem

Millions of people suffer from low self-esteem. They walk around each day questioning themselves. They wonder if they are attractive enough, smart enough, successful enough. They constantly worry about what other people think of them, when the truth is that they are their own harshest critics. Self-esteem is defined as having “confidence in one’s own… Read more »

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