Sometimes our criticisms of our partners and ourselves has less to do with reality and more to do with a self-critical set of standards imposed on us by an internal enemy. When attempting to understand what goes wrong in our relationships, it can feel as if we would have to wade through un-translated copies of… Read more »
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There are ways to uncover how and why a genuinely loving relationship can forego passion for routine. How often do we find ourselves going from a vital sense of love for another person to a weighted feeling of complacency or dissatisfaction? Why does this occur? Is it something in us or is it the person… Read more »
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Learn the qualities that make a person an ideal partner – They may not be what you expected. While the reasons we fall in love are often a mystery, the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. There may be no such thing as the perfect partner, but an ideal partner can be… Read more »
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Ayala Malach Pines, Ph.D. The psychological roots of why we choose the partners we do can give us fascinating insight into our intimate relationships. Examining the many sociological and emotional causes of our behavior , this books helps explain our selection process and how everything from childhood experiences to internalized defenses can impact who we… Read more »
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Even though we all say we want love, there are many ways we protect ourselves by sabotaging our relationships. Dr. Lisa Firestone explores why and how we act out these destructive patterns with our partners.
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Where your critical inner voice comes from As small children, we are helpless and entirely dependent on adults for nurturance and to have our needs met. It is impossible for even the most loving parent to anticipate and respond to all of the needs of an infant, therefore every child suffers from some degree of… Read more »
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What is a fantasy bond? A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of… Read more »
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There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found While journeying east and west – The only folks we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best. This amusing little poem isn’t… Read more »
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To love (verb) The dictionary offers two separate definitions for the word love. One is of a noun and the other is of a verb. The dictionary has unwittingly pinpointed the problem that many of us have with love. Often we treat love as if it were only a noun: “an entity, quality, state, action,… Read more »
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