fantasy bond

Separation Theory

[Separation Theory] is integrative even beyond the blending of the psychoanalytic and existential views… It views people as being innately innocent rather than destructive or corrupt, and thereby it rejects Id Psychology in favor of an existential view of humankind. Its ties to existentialism and humanism are in its acceptance of the viability of the emerging “self,”… Read more »

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Love Addictions: Do You Have an Unhealthy Addiction to Love?

While the term “love addiction” may be controversial among mental health professionals, having an overwhelming or obsessive compulsion toward love or a loved one is not uncommon. Love addictions are formed as a defense against psychological pain. Love addicts have a fantasy of being rescued by their loved one and often believe that this one… Read more »

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Is Being Proud of Your Kids Really about You?

Parents often exclaim that they are so proud of their children. “She got into Harvard.” “He got the highest SAT scores.” “She is the most brilliant musician.” “He is the captain of the football team.” Parents particularly express pride in their kids when they demonstrate a talent or quality that the parent values. And while we all want parents… Read more »

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Passionate Love: What is the “spark” and how can we keep it alive?

Love is friendship set on fire. ~ Jeremy Taylor Many of us say we’d like to be in love, but have we ever stopped to think what kind of love we’re imagining? Over the years, scientists have made efforts to classify different types of love. Recently, researcher Dr. Barbara Acevedo discovered some good news about one type… Read more »

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How to “Make” Someone Fall in Love with You

Whenever I write an article about love or relationships, I inevitably receive one or two spammy comments recommending a mystical cure for how to “win back your husband” or “make the woman of your dreams fall in love with you.” The comment usually recounts a detailed testimonial and describes a modern-day genie who, by way… Read more »

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Falling Out of Love

When love starts to fade, before we even face the potential loss of the person we’re with or the relationship we’re in, many of us mourn the loss of something inside us. Falling out of love is like losing a part of ourselves that was once illuminated. It’s one of the most painful processes to… Read more »

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Relationship Advice from Relationship Expert Dr. Lisa Firestone

We asked relationship expert Dr. Lisa Firestone for her advice on everything from how to make love last to how to get over a devastating break-up. Watch her answers below.

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You Don’t Really Know Yourself

Examining the persistence of our negative identity My life’s work has focused on understanding resistance in psychotherapy and more specifically, on people’s fundamental resistance to the formation of a better, more positive image of themselves.  For the most part, they are unaware that their lives are controlled and regulated by negative images and attitudes toward… Read more »

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True Love: What Love Is and What It Is Not

The topic of true love has been debated for centuries.  Cynics often swear it doesn’t exist, while hopeless romantics think everyone should set out to find their soulmates.  With science now showing that true love is not only possible, but can actually last a lifetime, we’ve decided to look at the psychological elements that allow love to bloom… Read more »

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Who’s the Boss in Your Relationship?

How common power dynamics destroy our closest relationships At a recent dinner party, I witnessed a group of friends teasingly ask one another who was in charge in their relationship. The question was meant to be playfully provocative, with most people laughing as everyone else at the table shouted, often in unison, who they perceived… Read more »

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