critical inner voice

It Is Immoral To Stop People From Loving You

Some of the most destructive behaviors, commonplace in relationships, are those that people act out in an attempt to ward off loving responses from their partner. In The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships, I wrote about the dynamics underlying this phenomenon, explaining why we often punish the very person who appreciates and acknowledges us for our positive… Read more »

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The Link Between LGBT Youth, Bullying, and Suicide

In 1989, when the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services released a public report stating that up to a third of all teen suicides were committed by gay youth, there was a flurry of media attention and speculation surrounding the rising rates of teen suicide committed by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered youth. It… Read more »

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Understanding Our Style of Relating When Triggered

When we are triggered emotionally, it can all feel sort of choiceless; like we have lost control of ourselves. Even if we have the awareness of our reaction, it is difficult to stop our emotional response, because the nervous system, the brain, the memory centers are all interacting. Our learned style of relating Most often… Read more »

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Why Layoffs Lead to New Lows in Self-Esteem

It wasn’t easy for Sara, a 28-year-old sales manager, to choose to leave her well-paying job at a telecommunications company to work for a friend’s business hot to recruit her. Yet with promises of equal pay, better hours and increased time off, Sara followed her heart and took the job, only to be let go… Read more »

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Steps To Healthy Lifestyle Changes

Lifestyle changes begin with setting Intention. If you don’t have an intention, it easy to lose commitment to action. Intention is not a goal but an overarching frame for the “why” of doing something. For example, someone might have a goal of losing weight, but an overarching intention of feeling well, with more vitality for… Read more »

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The Beginning of the End of Mass Imprisonment and the Misuse of Prisons as Our De Facto Mental Health Care System

The U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Brown v. Plata on May 23 ordering the state of California to reduce its prison population by more than 30,000 (from more than 140,000 to 110,000 inmates) over the next two years has received headlines, editorials and letters to the editor in newspapers around the country, as it should have…. Read more »

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Your Child’s Self Esteem Starts With You

Every new parent experiences that first terrifying moment: your baby is screaming, not crying, screaming. You try to feed him. You check his diaper. You try to make him warmer, cooler, calmer, more comfortable, but to no avail. The complete mystery of this precious 8 pound, non-speaking creature rises to your consciousness, and, all at once,… Read more »

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Evicting the "Obnoxious Roommate" In Your Head

I scanned the sea of black-robed 20-somethings for my sister’s familiar face. As I glanced over each aisle, I noted the beaming expressions of the satisfied graduate students about to receive their Masters degrees in Journalism. When I finally caught a glimpse of my sister, I was glad to see that in spite of the… Read more »

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Mindsight: The Unexpected Value of Getting to Know Yourself

With everything in the world from our language to our LinkedIn networks growing bigger, more complex and moving faster, it’s easy to feel like we are no longer in control. Our career path, our relationships and our futures are all victims of circumstance. Whether we are bowing to the will of a boss, a paycheck,… Read more »

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The Key to Healthy Relationships: It’s All in Your Head

Do you remember the children’s book, The Missing Piece, by the beloved author Shel Silverstein? In this sweet, abstractly illustrated tale, a circle-shaped protagonist, complete but for one pie-shaped slice of himself, rolls along looking for his missing piece. Some pieces are too big, others too small. The quest continues until, finally, he finds that perfect… Read more »

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