…with the burden of being great or “the best.” They often grow up with the fear of disappointing their parent or the pressure to keep their parent happy, as opposed to vice versa. They carry a constant weight on their shoulders that can hold them back from truly reaching their full potential. The emptiness these children feel can manifest itself in the form of an inner critic or “critical inner voice” that reminds them they are not good enough or…
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…mily chaos had meant that her needs were unimportant, while leading her to fear connections with the outside world. She noticed that her body “shrank up” whenever she thought about attending a social gathering. At first, it was difficult for her to have compassion for her suffering as a child, but over time, as we slowly and carefully touched her experience together, we became a tender embrace for not only her childhood, but for the painful experi…
Learn More…“The guys who fear becoming fathers don’t understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent.” – Frank Pittman…
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…gn, as well as what his advisers and supporters have expressed, many of us fear that these rights will be stripped from us. Much of Trump’s conservative base has been questioning why these marches occurred, since the president just took office, but as I see it, it’s important to speak up now so that we move forward and not backward. Interestingly enough, there were many men who joined in the peaceful gatherings, and I think the overarching reason…
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…ow into their own unique personalities. At an age when they are first exploring their independence and experiencing the world from this new, adventurous point of view, toddlers undergo a whirlwind of emotions – from fear to defiance, exuberance to frustration. Understanding the causes and effects of these emotions can help parents relate to and assist their children through the ups and downs of their very young lives….
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…In my years of working with men in therapy, I’ve noticed that many of the fears and stereotypes they’ve carried with them about therapy only dissolve when faced with the possibility of rejection, for example, when their spouse or partner threatens the end of a relationship. When a romantic or sexual relationship is on the line, that can get the man’s attention, and his fear of loss will often drive him into therapy. In this case, the threat of lo…
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…ubject. On one level or another, anger causes everyone a certain amount of fear. We’re afraid of someone getting angry at us and we’re afraid when we feel angry at someone else. We are even troubled when we aren’t directly involved and are just observing two people getting angry at each other. No matter what the circumstances, anger is an unpleasant emotion and most of us would just as soon avoid it. But we can’t, because anger is one of our most…
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…than others. The more we learn what triggers our strongest emotions, like fear and frustration, the more we can understand ourselves and control our reactions to these triggers. For example, does a tone of condescension set off critical inner voices of being incapable? Is the nightly news making you feel like hiding under a desk? Does a certain way your child cries leave you feeling unbelievably overwhelmed? When we identify these triggers, we ca…
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…re are difficulties we will all face that will leave us feeling unfathomed fear and doubt, staying on our own side mentally is perhaps the only way to truly withstand the struggle. As friends of mine get laid off from jobs they loved, hated or felt indifferent to, their mental struggle has, so far, far surmounted the physical one. Some found new jobs, some have taken the leap to achieve goals they’d long said they’d pursue “someday,” but the pain…
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…lance, attuned communication and response flexibility, intuition, empathy, fear modulation, insight and morality. It can also help us to form healthier attachments. “The fantastic news is that if you can make sense of your childhood experiences—especially your relationships with your parents—you can transform your attachment models toward security,” said Dr. Siegel. “The reason this is important is that relationships— with friends, with romantic p…
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