…e all the same, neither genetic nor moral, but instead the result of human development gone awry. Any activity can be addictive, he says, from his compulsion for collecting classical music to his patients’ addiction to heroin. Through Mate’s eyes we see his patients as victims of traumatic childhoods, survivors whose unmet needs haunt them as adults. When their emotions become unbearable they get high to free themselves—and however temporarily—the…
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…t growth when the brain is vulnerable and needs certain input to shape its development in healthy ways. But the brain does not stop growing after childhood, or adolescence. Changing in the long-term in four fundamental ways, the brain takes in experience with the activation of neural firing. This firing, at a minimum, can lead to temporary, short-term chemical associations among neurons revealing immediate or short-term memory. But longer-term imp…
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…te constellation of our existence. And nothing supports a person’s healthy development more than living within an emotionally intelligent family system. As renowned author Daniel Goleman points out, “current trends in marriage and divorce make emotional intelligence more crucial than ever.” Goleman’s best-selling book, Emotional Intelligence, states that skills for successful relating include self-awareness; identifying, expressing, and managing f…
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…age their emotions. This shift in perspective opens the door to the larger developmental goal of helping your child or teen learn how to manage the intensity of their emotions. This comes from helping your child tolerate “no” and taking turns rather than using power, control, or fear. While standards for behavior are important, the parenting question is how to help my child express sadness, fear, disappointment, or anger without becoming hostile….
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…f mind. Sense the Possibility of Joyfulness – Once there is greater mental development, it is easier to see how swiftly thoughts come and go. There is motivation to stay in the here-and-now, rather than the before-and-after. It becomes clear over time that the only place to experience peace or happiness is in the present moment, and so we long to stay there – to make that permanent too. But we discover that it is not possible. The Dalai Lama sugge…
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…pable to solve problems and who offer them support contribute to a child’s development of hardiness traits. For those who were not as fortunate in terms of the parenting they received, there is also hope that hardiness can be learned. Hardiness training has been found to improve people’s ability to deal with crises and the stress of everyday life. Similarly, we have found that people who achieve greater degrees of differentiation, by using the the…
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…of these attitudes is particularly adaptive or beneficial to our personal development. Although, these approaches to the past may seem entirely contradictory, they actually lead to the same ultimate outcome. If we avoid facing the past, we fail to recognize the many, often limiting, ways it’s influencing our present. On the other hand, if we over-identify with and ruminate on our childhood experiences, we still find ourselves being ruled by these…
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…, and competence that individuals gradually acquire in the course of their development,” said Dr. Firestone. “It is self-assertion, and a natural, healthy striving for love, satisfaction and meaning in one’s interpersonal world.” Knowing our personal power means recognizing that we have a heavy effect on our lives. We create the world we live in. To create a better world means shifting our outlook, feeling empowered and rejecting a victimized poin…
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…viously experienced in any other media. We have longer to view the arc and development which may mirror our own, I know I have experienced a real loss as the end credits rolled in Californiacation. Hank moody had been in my life for 7 years. Then gone forever, like losing a friend or loved one almost – someone that I look up to, makes me laugh and can learn from (or his mistakes) on some sort of level. What I am trying to portray is that a TV seri…
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…ere directed toward us by parents or influential caretakers throughout our development. For example, if our parent saw us as lazy, we may grow up feeling useless or ineffective. We may then engage in a self sabotaging thoughts that tell us not to try, i.e.“Why bother? You’ll never succeed anyway. You just don’t have the energy to get anything done” In a similar manner, children can internalize negative thoughts that their parents or early caretake…
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