Search Results for: kessler/2009/11/nerf-guns-–-what-are-we-afraid-of/2009/12/1593/2009/11/your-role-in-your-childs-development/2009/11/imperfect-parenting-rupture-and-repair-by-michelle-deen

What Parents Need to Know About the Teenage Brain

…e a mutual understanding. One such exercise is described by Dr. Siegel as “rupture and repair.” Because no parent, or person, is perfect, it is inevitable that almost every adult will find themselves entering into a heated conflict with their kid at one time or another. This is a particularly true when a child enters the independent-minded, opinionated and stormily emotional period that colors adolescence. Siegel explains that there will be ruptur…

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What Kids Really Need from Their Parents

…, so they can feel it for themselves. HELPING OUR KIDS FEEL SAFE: Whatever parenting style we have, whether we work full time or stay at home, our goal should be to provide a secure base for our child from which they can venture out. Making our kids feel safe means we need to offer nurturance, real care, concern, warmth, and affection. We need to be steady, reliable, and consistent in relationship to them. However, it doesn’t mean we have to overd…

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"If All You Have is a Hammer, Everything Looks Like a Nail" by Debra Kessler, Psy.D.

…ons for handling the experience. As Alfie Kohn describes that “doing with” parenting is more effective than “doing to” parenting. With the goal in mind of “doing with” our children to help them to be resilient, attention is turned from the “nail”, the child’s behavior, and redirected to what is triggering the child’s distress. Sometimes, even when there is a trigger that is readily observable, like a scraped knee from falling off a bicycle, gettin…

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How to Break the Cycle of Child Abuse

…r. Daniel Siegel, co-author of No-Drama Discipline, describes a process of rupture and repair, which essentially involves parents talking to their children after a destructive encounter or “rupture” and helping to repair the situation. This means first listening to how their child experienced the interaction. The parent then tries to align his or her state with the child and to see it from the child’s perspective. Then, the parent can explain what…

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Tips for Helping Kids Handle Their Emotions

…talk about them, all the while understanding that they won’t last forever. Rupture and repair – Parents are human. We mess up, we say the wrong thing, and sometimes we let our own emotions get in the way. When this happens, we can help our kids a great deal by talking to them about what happened and how we behaved. We shouldn’t be afraid to say sorry when we make mistakes. Be open about your own story. Explain how you overreacted because you felt…

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Tips for Helping Kids Handle Their Emotions

…talk about them, all the while understanding that they won’t last forever. Rupture and repair – Parents are human. We mess up, we say the wrong thing, and sometimes we let our own emotions get in the way. When this happens, we can help our kids a great deal by talking to them about what happened and how we behaved. We shouldn’t be afraid to say sorry when we make mistakes. Be open about your own story. Explain how you overreacted because you felt…

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Tips for Helping Your Child Handle Emotions

…talk about them, all the while understanding that they won’t last forever. Rupture and repair – Parents are human. We mess up, we say the wrong thing, and sometimes we let our own emotions get in the way. When this happens, we can help our kids a great deal by talking to them about what happened and how we behaved. We shouldn’t be afraid to say sorry when we make mistakes. Be open about your own story. Explain how you overreacted because you felt…

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Psychalive – Psychology for Everyday Life

…munication” used in the context of company culture and teamwork. Read More Parenting The Bloodiest Shows: Why We Watch Violent Television and How it Affects Us We might be living in the heyday of television. Read More Parenting to Grow Self-awareness and Self-management Parents teach children to notice and respond to hunger, cold, and a full bladder. Read More Why Do Kids Get Stuck on Certain Tasks? When we focus on our kids’ learning process over…

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how to parent strong willed kids

How to Parent Strong-Willed Kids

…t adapting to a child’s age. For example, an important ingredient of early parenting is to bond with an infant and provide what is called attachment parenting. Infants need to be spoiled, but as children grow older it’s best if they are weaned from being the center of the universe. They need to be able to tolerate frustration. There’s also a big difference between parental behaviors that are nurturing versus indulgent— doing things for kids that t…

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The Abuse of Overparenting

…ith respect, interest, and consideration. However, the trend of helicopter parenting has been taken to extremes and, in that, we are also witnessing pro-parenting’s negative effects. A 2011 PEW Research survey further found that “40% of 18- to 24-year-olds currently live with their parents, and the vast majority of them say they did not move back home because of economic conditions.” Young adults who move out then back in with their parents, wheth…

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