…underlying a negative i… Dr. Robert Firestone on Challenging a Negative Identity Dr. Robert Firestone talks about challenging a negative identity and developing … Dr. Robert Firestone Describes Why People Develop a False Negative Identity Dr. Robert Firestone describes why people develop a false negative identity. You… How to Make Love Last a Lifetime Relationship Expert Dr. Lisa Firestone discusses how to make love last a lifetim… « prev…
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…ow to Befriend Yourself:” The enemy within can be thought of as a negative identity. This negative identity is a byproduct of negative ways you were labeled as a child, the negative attitudes toward yourself that you incorporated from any mistreatment you were exposed to and the defensive strategies that you formed to cope with psychological pain that further bent you out of shape. You mistake the identity that you formed under these circumstances…
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…cept of differentiation, in which individuals separate from their assigned identity and challenge the defenses they formed to support this identity. They are then better able to investigate their own unique sense of self. Good therapists aim to see their clients without the overlays on their personality generated by the past, and they take steps to help them eventually see themselves this same way. “Nowhere in life is a person listened to, felt, e…
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…of the fantasy process that we are clinging to: the negative feelings and identity that we grew up with, and the defensive solution we utilized in childhood. To challenge our negative identity, we have to investigate our long-held critical assumptions and take action to change our behavior. To disarm the fantasy defense we have to examine the painful feelings that we were originally trying to escape. By taking an honest look at ourselves and the…
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…we hold on to “the parent in our head,” we continue to feel bonded to the identity we formed in that original relationship. If we had a neglectful or misattuned parent, we may continue to believe that we are fundamentally not deserving of attention or being treated thoughtfully. If we had an emotionally hungry parent, we may worry that people will consume or overpower us if we’re not careful. As a result, we try to “stay in line” by engaging in a…
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…nternalized voices become a fixed part of the developing individual’s core identity, even though initially there was no essential validity to the labels. They pertained more directly to flawed parents and parenting practices, and the child was basically innocent. Later, as he/she internalizes the labels originally based on painful primal feelings and trauma, he/she tends to perpetuate and act out unappealing traits and behaviors based on the incor…
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…myself to focus on something else, would I sleep better? Could I shed the identity of being an “insomniac”? I began shifting my focus to other things at bedtime, away from those worries, and more toward the experience of rest. The process was so simple (not always easy), but over time, in shifting my focus, I was able to shift my energy, and began noticing falling to sleep sooner with greater regularity. Often times we stay trapped because undern…
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…will look like in the near future. It’s not uncommon for our very sense of identity to get wrapped up in the schools we do or don’t get into. Many students experience an identity crisis when certain plans don’t materialize. The loss of an opportunity can feel like losing a version of themselves or a picture of their lives that they imagined or anticipated. In addition, students are experiencing an intense level of anxiety and pressure, sometimes s…
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…paration Theory reveals how attempts to maintain a fantasy bond by merging identity with larger social institutions promote animosity towards those perceived as different from or threatening to that identity. Consequently, viewing violent television has the same possible negative impacts. While most viewers will not be driven to mimic depictions of fictional aggression, there is the danger of becoming desensitized to violence, less critical of its…
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…who made him feel unloved. It was as if he was trying to disprove his old identity by winning the affection of these elusive women, while simultaneously proving his old identity, because he could never attain their love. It was more comfortable for him to uphold the negative sense of self that he’d learned as a little boy who felt unwanted than to see himself through the eyes of someone who saw him differently. Accepting the fact that we were see…
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