Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

The Societal Obsession with Selfies (and What’s Wrong With It)

…At the age of 15, Bowman became obsessed with his looks after people made critical comments about his appearance on Facebook. He resorted to dieting, to skipping classes so that he could take selfies without being interrupted, and then dropped out of school completely. In his obsession, he did not leave his home for six months where he would spend 10 hours a day taking up to 200 selfies. After failing to capture “the perfect selfie” he became so…

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VIDEO: Dr. Kirk Schneider on Enlivening Our Society with Awe Based Wisdom

…ds enact stories through history, maybe not just talk about them but enact critical moments, you know, when Socrates was questioning the businessman in Athens and that kind of dialogue that took place and how does it relate to their own lives, what does this mean for you and Johnny or Mary? What does this mean for, you know, what you’re learning in school. I mean, a lot of possibilities with it. Or having kids learn about how cultures throughout h…

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VIDEO: Dr. Kirk Schneider – The Transformative Power of Awe

…eally, took away a sense of security. KS: Absolutely. And again, it’s that critical point between the possibility to come into the more of one’s own being, or the alternative of either total collapse or some tremendous defense against the unknown, the unpredictable. And I think one of the main differences between the two is that if people are able to come into the awesomeness of the experience more, there’s usually somebody there who has helped th…

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VIDEO: Dr. Peter Levine on Sexual Abuse and Relational Trauma

…at’s harming us. So that creates a tremendous conflict. And I believe it’s critical to work both with the child, of course, but also with the parent. And even if the parent or family member wasn’t the abuser, they feel so much guilt and so much shame. Of course, the child feels so much shame. But one of the things, again, that works very well somatically — a lot we’re talking about touch. But a lot of times you don’t really touch, but we touch wit…

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5 Things to Try Before You Give Up on Your Relationship

…scared, we tend to pull away from our partner. We pick fights, become more critical, even react angrily to compliments or acts of love. More than anything, we start to withhold the traits that our partner once loved about us. We may stop being as affectionate or adventurous. We may resist engaging in activities we mutually enjoyed with our partner. Acting against being withholding means being willing to be vulnerable. It means engaging in shared a…

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5 Ways to Overcome Your Fear of Love

…affection, sloughed off a compliment, etc? As we identify the thoughts or “critical inner voices” that filled our heads on these occasions, we can start to recognize themes and recurring behaviors and begin to identify patterns. We can see how our own defenses systematically operate to ward off love. We may notice that we have trouble being acknowledged by our partner or that we feel angry when he or she relies on us. We may feel repelled by a lov…

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What it Means to Be Loving

…own sense of self-worth. One of the biggest reasons we shut out love is because we feel unworthy or self-denying. Therefore, to have a loving relationship, we must challenge our negative self-concept, or our “critical inner voice.” When we do this and take the loving actions that contradict our critical self-image, we enhance our own sense of worth and are able to get closer to the people we love….

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Can an Open Relationship Actually Work?

…artners or the criticisms toward a perceived third-party threat, are often critical thoughts toward ourselves,” said Firestone. She describes how a person’s “critical inner voice” can flood his or her mind with harmful suspicions and accusations that fuel feelings of jealousy. She frequently finds that what people are telling themselves about what’s going on with their partner is often a lot worse than what is actually going on. For example, a per…

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How to Say What You Want in Your Relationship

…not feel as close to their partner. They may have destructive thoughts or “critical inner voices,” such as “How dare he treat you that way. You better stand up for yourself” or “she is so self-centered; she only cares about herself.” As my father psychologist Robert Firestone often says about engaging in this way, “You may win the battle, but you will lose the war.” While many people tend to be more combative, there are those who take the opposite…

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Qualities of an Ideal Therapist

…ere clients are turned against themselves — where they are acting on their critical inner voices. They are sensitive to the wide range of addictive patterns manifested by clients and have the courage to help expose and interrupt these patterns. In an important sense, the therapist can be conceptualized as a “transitional object” in that he or she provides the client with an authentic relationship during the transition from depending on self-nouris…

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