…and affection that make up what we call romantic love. Often, by the time couples realize there’s a problem or seek help in therapy, they’ve become entangled in destructive patterns that have disconnected them from their loving feelings and damaged the relationship. In order to keep their warm, attracted feelings alive, people must remember to treat love as a verb. It is a way of being more so than a state of being. Research shows that engaging i…
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…is because this critic is frequently operated by our deepest fears around relationships. “Don’t get too close.” “All relationships end in disaster.” “Never let him see how you feel.” “Just ice him.” “Don’t call her.” “Don’t depend on someone else.” “You don’t need anyone. Just stay on your own.” Anytime we notice our heads filling with thoughts cataloguing our partner’s flaws, building a case against them, or over-analyzing their actions and inte…
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…ith my first husband, I wouldn’t have been so quick to leave him. Even now couples with children are less likely to divorce than childless couples. What’s different? People got married younger in my day – right out of high school or college. They went directly from living with their parents or in a college dorm room to an apartment with a spouse. And like my husband says, since he also married at age twenty-one, he never had time to sow any wild o…
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…Dr. Peter Levine. Dr. Peter Levine describes a case example of the Somatic Experiencing Approach for Combatting Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Dr. Peter A. Levine: I also have a video I made of an Iraq-Afghanistan Marine who was blown up by two IED’s and completely destroyed. But, again, in a relatively short period of time –not that this is the whole story — you see him come back into life, come out of this state of complete shock, back into lif…
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…ew with Dr. Peter Levine. Dr. Peter Levine gives an example of the Somatic Experiencing Approach in a group setting. Dr. Peter A. Levine: My next trip was in Athens because my book was being released in Greek and I was going to do a thing for the publisher there. But the earthquake had just hit – a big earthquake in Athens and Turkey and so we got there and we immediately started getting groups — these were groups of teachers because the kids were…
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…r Levine. Dr. Peter Levine talks about the historical basis of the Somatic Experiencing Approach. Dr. Peter A. Levine: Our model for therapy has come, from Freud on, from the idea of the “talking cure,” that somehow, if we talk about these things, we’ll be freed from them. And that applies to certain things, but it really doesn’t apply to trauma. But of course, Freud gave up his idea of trauma and then kind of shifted to the idea of inner conflict…
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…with Dr. Peter Levine. Dr. Peter Levine on the development of the Somatic Experiencing Approach and the concept of titration. Dr. Peter A. Levine: As I started to work with many people and we would see symptoms often connected with what we would think as being relatively benign experiences: falling off bicycles, being in accidents, having invasive medical procedures, I mean these all seemed like ordinary things. And of course, things like abuse,…
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…men to become enraged or to act on violent impulses. Being challenged by a relationship partner can be distressing, arousing fear and anger for some people. In these instances, whether they are experiencing an insult, a perceived threat, or an extreme provocation, both men and women who engage in domestic violence are very often acting on their “critical inner voice.” This “voice” is a destructive thought process in which people are telling themse…
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…day life in countless ways. Some common symptoms include: Trouble sleeping Trouble managing intense emotions Self-harming behavior Substance abuse Relationship difficulties Recurring fights with loved ones High blood pressure Depression Anxiety Yet people with these symptoms may believe the symptoms are the problem. We need to advocate for healing trauma and for trauma survivors, even if they don’t recognize trauma’s role. What makes a person a tr…
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