Search Results for: couples experiencing relationship trouble

Disorganized Attachment: How Disorganized Attachments Form & How They Can Be Healed

…sense, demonstrating unpredictable, confusing or erratic behavior in these relationships. In the Adult Attachment Interview, researchers found that individuals with a disorganized attachment often can’t make sense of their experiences. They have trouble forming a coherent narrative. If they suffered abuse, they may offer unusual explanations for their abuser’s behavior. When they’re asked to convey details of their relationship with their parents,…

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VIDEO: Dr. Peter Levine on the future of the Somatic Experiencing Approach

…. Peter A. Levine talks about how he feels about the future of the Somatic Experiencing Approach since retiring. Dr. Peter A. Levine: You know, in my age now, into my 70’s, I’ve been grateful to have been able to make a difference and I have tremendous trainees and teachers who are teaching Somatic Experiencing (SE), the term I gave to this work, and I feel a tremendous weight off my shoulders. You know, for many, many years, I was kind of compuls…

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Being a good therapist and being a good parent require the same skills

…er person that is respectful, compassionate and equal. In the parent/child relationship, the child eagerly observes every aspect of the parent’s personality to learn how to be. Parenthood brings with it the responsibility of knowing that everything that parents do serves as a model for the kind of person their child will become. Parents’ feelings about themselves are inadvertently transmitted to the child. The most important thing parents can do f…

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Fantasy Bond

…al distance. Destructive fantasy bonds, which exist in a large majority of relationships, greatly reduce the possibility couples achieving intimacy. Read More Warning signs that you and your partner may be in a fantasy bond You aren’t making as much eye contact. You’re having breakdowns in your communication. There is less affection between you. Your lovemaking has become less impersonal or routine. You’ve lost your independence. You often speak a…

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Where Our Relationship Patterns Come From

…hey are today. This endeavor is one that doesn’t just benefit our romantic relationships, but every relationship we form in life. As Dr. Siegel has said, ““The fantastic news is that if you can make sense of your childhood experiences—especially your relationships with your parents—you can transform your attachment models toward security. The reason this is important is that relationships— with friends, with romantic partners, with present or poss…

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Why Men Are Resistant to Therapy

…nger sense of self.   Deryl Goldenberg, PhD is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica and Santa Barbara and has focused his work on Male Psychology and Couples Relationship issues for over 30 years. To learn more about Dr. Goldenverg, visit his website or email him here….

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fear of intimacy, psychalive

5 Strategies for Dealing With Your Partner’s Fear of Intimacy

…rsonal limitations and insecurities are regularly acted out in our closest relationships. Very often, our current reactions (especially our overreactions) are based on negative programming from our past. In the blog “Why You Keep Winding Up in the Same Relationship,” I discussed how and why we form defenses that make it difficult to get close. In this blog, I want to offer a few ways to work on overcoming a fear of intimacy that may exist in our p…

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Angry at Love

…stancing behaviors to preserve their psychological equilibrium.” Our early relationship experiences heavily influence the way we relate in our adult relationships. For example, if we were rejected or dismissed as kids, we may feel insecure as adults. We may seek partners who leave us feeling familiarly empty and alone, or we may choose people who are overbearing to compensate for what we felt we lacked. Either way, we will recreate negative dynami…

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sexual stereotypes, psychalive

Is Sexual Stereotyping Affecting Your Relationship?

…visive, and they interfere with our being intimate and loving in our close relationships. The social pressure exerted by these attitudes is as damaging to couple relationships as racial prejudice is to relations between people of different ethnic backgrounds. In truth, men and women are more alike than they are different. Both men and women have essentially the same desires in life and seek the same sort of satisfactions with each other. Both want…

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Where Does Our Love Go?

…aderie is replaced by an illusion of connection; when the substance of the relationship is replaced by the form. Couples are rarely aware of this transition, they just find themselves one day wondering where their love has gone. To understand why a fantasy bond is formed, it is important to realize that most of us are afraid of real intimacy and closeness. It contradicts our negative feelings about ourselves and threatens our self-protective defen…

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