Search Results for: lisa firestone

The Self Under Siege: A New Model of Differentiation

…ative approach to differentiation, a four-step process developed by Robert Firestone, Ph.D. involving: 1. Breaking with internalized thought processes, critical attitudes toward self & others. 2. Altering the negative personality traits in oneself that represent an incorporation of aversive traits of one’s parents 3. Identifying/relinquishing patterns of defense formed as an adaptation to painful events in childhood. 4. Developing one’s own values…

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Are You in an Unhealthy Relationship?

…hat psychologist and Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships author, Robert Firestone calls a “fantasy bond.” A fantasy bond replaces real acts of love and affection toward your partner with an illusion of connection. In a fantasy bond, a couple may operate as a unit, seeing themselves as safely joined, yet their relating becomes a matter of form and routine. No longer do they show much passion, love or respect for each other. Instead, they relate…

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7 Steps to Living the Life You Imagined

…act our careers, relationships and our goals in life. My father Dr. Robert Firestone describes this process of differentiation, as a four-step method for freeing yourself from past prescriptions and becoming who you really are. On June 4, I will host a free Webinar “Becoming the Real You” to further explore this complex subject. I will discuss the steps of differentiation and describe key principles to keep in mind when embarking on this challengi…

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relationship fix

How to Fix a Relationship

…engage in a “Fantasy Bond.” A fantasy bond is a term coined by Dr. Robert Firestone describing a state two people enter, in which they relate as a single unit. In this state, the couple stops seeing each other as autonomous individuals. They stop showing respect and love for each other and, instead, relate out of form. When in a fantasy bond, a couple will often start to project onto each other and relate to each other based on projections from t…

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Withholding: A Personal Story

…mily and friends, understanding the brilliant and necessary work of Robert Firestone and most recently, delving into Earnest Becker’s book The Denial of Death, I have come to fully appreciate, and have more compassion for, the horrific truth we as humans face. From the moment we are brought into this world, we instinctively do what we have to in order to survive physically and emotionally. Like the fences we build around our homes and our countrie…

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The Self Under Siege: A New Model of Differentiation

…ach to increasing differentiation, a four-step process developed by Robert Firestone, Ph.D. that involves: 1. Breaking with internalized thought processes, that is, the critical, hostile attitudes toward self and others. 2. Altering the negative personality traits in oneself that represent an incorporation of the aversive traits of one’s parents. 3. Identifying and relinquishing patterns of defense formed as an adaptation to painful events in one’…

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Becoming Your Real Self: Shedding the Baggage of Your Past

…to be? How do we become our real self? My father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, and I explain the steps in the process of differentiation in our new book, The Self Under Siege, which we wrote in collaboration with Joyce Catlett. Watch this Whiteboard Video on Differentiation The first step in the process is to identify the “critical inner voices” you experience about yourself, others, and the world around you. This critical internal commenta…

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Eight Ways to Actively Fight Depression

…ally the voice of a well-hidden enemy within, what psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the critical inner voice. Internalized early in live, this inner voice functions like an over-disciplinary parent holding us back and keeping us in our place. Think of these thoughts as being like the parasites that keep you in bed when you’re sick with the flu. Don’t listen to these attacks when they tell you not to pursue your goals or to forego an…

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A New Look at Differentiation

…book The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation, Robert Firestone, Joyce Catlett and I show how the self is under siege from several sources: primarily from pain and rejection in the developmental years, but also struggles in personal relationships, detrimental societal forces, and existential realities that affect all people. To become one’s own person – to differentiate and separate oneself from these negative influences, both…

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You Don’t Want What You Say You Want

…with others, — each individual in the couple could expand his or her capacity for both giving and accepting love. Learn more about Dr. Firestone’s latest book The Self Under Siege:…

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