Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/06/lesson-2-in-parenting-learn-about-yourself-as-a-arent/2009/06/critical-inner-voice-and-intimacy-2

3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

…naturally flow between us and our partner. Pay attention to your critical inner voice. The ideas that swirl around in our heads about relationships tend to pop up in the form of a “critical inner voice.” This “voice” sends us a lot of messages and directions about ourselves, our partner, and our relationships. “Be careful,” it warns. “She’s probably going to leave you. “You don’t need anyone,” it announces. “Just keep your distance.” “He’s too cl…

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Parents and Self-esteem

Your Child’s Self Esteem Starts With You

…their view of the world and of themselves. Therefore, really improving our parenting means gaining a better understanding of ourselves. All parents both love and hate themselves, and they extend both of these reactions to their children. Because our kids come from us, we often confuse our own self-perceptions and experiences with theirs. The love we feel for ourselves is extended to our children as “Parental Nurturance.” This form of relating posi…

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Dr. Christine Courtois on Parenting: VIDEO

…irestone and Dr. Christine Courtois. CC If I were to talk to parents about parenting, I would give them the message to really cherish their child and to do whatever they could to promote the child’s self esteem because that’s resilience for the child and also to be very mindful of “words hurt” and how much damage they can do with words and to be very careful and mindful of that. Also, I would talk to them about repair. I think a lot of parents don…

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How to Stop Making the Wrong Relationship Choices

…f your partner’s shortcomings. This negative way of thinking, or “critical inner voice,” directs us to recreate the emotional environment we grew up in. If, as children, we were neglected, it warns us that we are going to be rejected. If we were intruded on, it tells us that a loved one is demanding of us. In almost no area is this coach as loud or tough on us than in our intimate relationships. Think of your inner coach as an old dialogue that wa…

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Making Changes in the New Year

…ct in our interest. Robert Firestone calls this enemy within the “critical inner voice.” When we take action that reflects the life-affirming part of us, we are also taking action against the critical inner voice. When we stop a negative behavior and enact a positive one in its place, our critical inner voice is threatened and tries to get us back in line. If you conceptualize it as a malicious coach in your head, you can imagine your critical inn…

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Suicide and the Inner Voice: Risk Assessment, Treatment and Case Management

…ibution? The answers to both questions are at the heart of Suicide and the Inner Voice. Dr. Firestone believes that the key to understanding suicidal behavior comes from a knowledge of the destructive thought processes of those at risk and an awareness of their origins in early family interactions. He tells us that the negative events in our lives are not nearly as harmful as what we tell ourselves about them. From an understanding of how one begi…

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Free Yourself from Your Inner Critic – A Weekend Retreat in Ojai, CA

…9, 2014 Where: Private Retreat Center in Ojai, California Instructors: Dr. Lisa Firestone and Joyce Catlett Description: Each of us has an “inner critic” judging our every action and instructing us on how to live our lives. But how much are we letting this inner critic control us and sabotage our goals? Are we living our own life or are we living based on someone else’s expectations or prescriptions for our life? Are our actions based on what we r…

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Resources from How to Make Love Last – A Webinar With Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

…n their relationship or suffering pain and distress? This webinar with Dr. Lisa Firestone helps answer these questions. Participants will gain insight into how people form an imaginary connection or ‘fantasy bond” with their partner that interferes with real relating. The ideal qualities to look for in a partner and to cultivate in yourself will be described. By identifying and challenging negative thoughts toward themselves and their partner (cri…

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Helping Clients Overcome Depression

…elp clients identify a destructive line of thinking known as the “critical inner voice” that can perpetuate a cycle of depression. When someone is in a depressed state, the hopelessness they feel seems to cloud the lens through which they see themselves and the world around them. They may get lost in painful patterns of rumination that make it especially difficult to take actions that may help reduce depressive symptoms. By identifying the self-de…

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How to Get Over a Breakup

…ry relationship that can exacerbate our feelings of loss. Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone suggested that when couples form a “fantasy bond,” they tend to replace the real substance of a loving relationship with an illusion of connection. “The overwhelming, emotionally shattering sense of loss that we experience at the end of a relationship is often the result of our having created a fantasy bond,” said Firestone. A couple forms a fantasy bond, usu…

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