Search Results for: Robert%20Firestone

relationship

Cynical About Relationships: Is Cynicism Ruining Your Love Life?

…ould argue that what’s fueling this cynical attitude is what my father Dr. Robert Firestone calls our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice describes a negative thought process we all experience to different degrees that harshly criticizes us and others. For many of us, this voice gets loudest when it comes to our romantic life. Our critical inner voices can act as a barrier to getting close to someone else. Like the world’s worst match…

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In a Relationship with a Narcissist? What You Need to Know About Narcissistic Relationships

…oothing and self-aggrandizing “voices”) a component of what my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, refers to as the “anti-self.” They are very fragile, because the flip side of their self-aggrandized feeling is very low self-esteem, the other component of the anti-self (made up of extremely self-hating and self-demeaning “critical inner voices”). So, for these people, even slight criticism can be a narcissistic injury, leading to an angry outburst and d…

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low self-esteem

Low Self-Esteem: What Does it Mean to Lack Self-Esteem?

…n ways that we regret and may deplore.” This harsh inner critic, which Dr. Robert Firestone refers to as the Critical Inner Voice, contributes to a negative perceived self. Having a negative perception of oneself can have serious consequences. For example, if someone believes that other people don’t like them, they are more likely to avoid interactions with others and are quicker to react defensively, cynically, or even lash out. Rosenberg and Owe…

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thinking positively

Thinking Positively: Why You Need to Wire Your Brain to Think Positive

…iness, better health and more optimism and positive emotions. According to Robert Emmons of the Greater Good Science Center, gratitude allows us to celebrate the present, blocks toxic, negative emotions, makes us more resilient, and increases our feelings of self-worth. Gratitude is like a muscle; the more you utilize it, the stronger it gets. There are many effective gratitude practices. For instance, you can keep a gratitude journal or a gratitu…

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Is Being Proud of Your Kids Really about You?

…an attempt to be connected to the accomplishment. My father, psychologist Robert Firestone, has developed the concept of a “fantasy bond” to help parents understand their exaggerated desire to connect with their children. A fantasy bond describes an illusion of fusion between two people that replaces real love and relating. This bond can create a false sense of security, however it can also impair the child’s budding individuality and actual sens…

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How You Can Help Someone At Risk for Suicide by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

…ng and applied research in suicide and violence. In collaboration with Dr. Robert Firestone, her studies resulted in the development of the Firestone Assessment of Self-Destructive Thoughts (FAST) and the Firestone Assessment of Violent Thoughts (FAVT). Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of the books: Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006), Conquer Your Critical Inner V…

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The Many Benefits Of Self-Compassion

…d punishes us for our mistakes. This is the side of us that my father, Dr. Robert Firestone has called the “anti-self.” In my and my father’s work, we often talk about how and why this anti-self emerges and how to challenge the negative line of thinking it perpetuates, which we call the “critical inner voice.” One exercise we ask people to try is writing down their self-critical thoughts in the second person (i.e. “You are such a loser. You can’t…

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How Embracing Vulnerability Strengthens Our Relationships

…unwilling to be vulnerable hurts our connections to others. My father, Dr. Robert Firestone, often refers to the inner dialogue that personifies these psychological defenses as our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is a destructive thought process that acts like an internal parent and tends to assess, judge, undermine, and insult us as we move through our lives. “Don’t show her who you really are. She’d want nothing to do with you,”…

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Why Are You Avoiding Intimacy?

…other level our defenses are being threatened. According to my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, author of Fear of Intimacy, there are many reasons our fears around relationships get ignited, but here are five primary sources.   1. Real love makes us feel vulnerable. Stepping into the unknown (especially something that makes us feel different about ourselves) can be inherently frightening.   2. New love stirs up past hurts. Sadly, being loved in a way…

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how to move on

How to Move On

…Silence your inner critic The “critical inner voice” is a term used by Dr. Robert Firestone to describe a negative thought process we all have that is like an internalized nemesis. This cruel “voice” criticizes, coaches, and even pities us (and others) in ways that undermine us when we’re up and kick us when we’re down. A lot of the pain and suffering we experience after a breakup is owed to this inner critic. Common post-breakup “voices” include:…

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