The other day, a friend of mine texted me a picture of a sign in a shop window that said, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” She probably knew that with Mother’s Day around the corner, I’d most likely be writing something about motherhood and would get a kick out of the old expression…. Read more »Learn More
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
Blogs by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
There is nothing wrong with being single. In fact, one of the most important lessons someone can learn is that they can be a whole and happy person on their own. A failure to recognize this can drive people into relationships that don’t satisfy them or that even make them miserable. Moreover, when their decision… Read more »Learn More
Like love, happiness is often treated like a physical object we must find and snatch up. Yet, also like love, happiness is something we are more likely to cultivate within ourselves than stumble upon in our wanderings. As the Dalai Lama said, “Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Determining… Read more »Learn More
Years ago, when I was in the process of creating a violence assessment scale, I visited a series of high-security prisons to interview men found guilty of murder and other violent crimes. As I sat down with each inmate, the first question I always asked was, “How did you come to be a violent person?”… Read more »Learn More
It’s hard to really wrap our heads around this. Yet, I find—over and over again—that it’s true. Love doesn’t always just slip away; we push it away… actively. This may sound accusatory and dooming, but to my mind, it is one of the most optimistic realities about relationships. To the degree that we ourselves control… Read more »Learn More
Recently, we’ve called attention to the question of whether narcissism is an epidemic in our nation. Yet, I would argue that it is narcissism’s evil step-sister that is causing the most trouble in people’s lives. Self-hatred is something we may not often say out loud. We prefer softer-sounding terms, like “low self-esteem” or “poor self-image.” The… Read more »Learn More
We’ve all seen some version of this scene: the child at the playground, covered in ice cream, wearing a tiara. She’s surrounded by fun toys, fawning parents and other happily screaming kids. Yet, although her world appears to be exactly as she’d want it, she is beside herself sobbing in utter distress. My point here… Read more »Learn More
When I think of Valentine’s Day, I inevitably think of February 15. That’s the day that people come in to work or meet friends for coffee and talk about the events of the previous evening. Some excerpts I’ve heard in previous years include: We went to the beach and opened a gift basket filled with… Read more »Learn More
I’m a big believer in relationships. I don’t often encounter couples for whom I think the outlook is hopeless. Granted, some relationships are bad for both parties. What attracts people to one another can be the very defenses that hold them back in life, for instance, the shy, indecisive person who chooses a loud, dominant… Read more »Learn More
Most of us treat love like an external force. It’s something that happens to us, strikes us like an arrow or overcomes us like a storm. There is a problem with thinking of love this way, and that is that it can slant our focus outward. It overlooks our own sense of power and leaves… Read more »Learn More