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The Paradox of Psychological Defenses

How to Deal with Rejection

Should we contend with painful realities or avoid them? Although psychological defenses offer a degree of comfort and a form of security, they also predispose distortion and maladaptation in adult life. Yet varying degrees of defense formation are a virtual ...

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The Fantasy Bond or Primary Defense

This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death ...

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3 Simple Ways to Sustainable Happiness

There’s no question in my mind that we all want to be happy. For some people happiness comes easier than others, but what we’re starting to understand is that happiness — that sense of connection and ease of appreciating the ...

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What It’s Like To Live With Mental Disorder

When people get a bunch of paperwork or are rushing certain tasks to meet deadlines at work or at school, they sometimes utter words without a second thought. Words like “I’m going crazy” or “I’m having a panic attack.” Such ...

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How Emotions Guide Our Lives

Emotions guide our lives in a million ways. Whether we’re inclined to hide and avoid or ponder and express them, most of us don’t realize the extent to which they are driving our thoughts and behavior. Exploring our emotions is ...

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You Don’t Really Want to Get Better

Of course psychotherapy clients want relief from their symptoms, depression, anxiety, and other painful emotions. But at the same time, they don’t want to change the fundamental defenses that would then allow them to develop and overcome their psychological maladies. Most people fear a basic change in ...

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