self development

The Fantasy Bond or Primary Defense

This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »

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The Simplest & Most Effective Technique I’ve Found for Reducing Stress

The World Health Organization has labeled stress a “worldwide epidemic.” The percentage of people suffering from stress and anxiety around the world keeps rising year after year. By now, we’ve all heard about the benefits of practicing mindfulness to reduce stress. However, the very idea of practicing mindfulness can feel daunting to many of us…. Read more »

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How Emotions Guide Our Lives

Emotions guide our lives in a million ways. Whether we’re inclined to hide and avoid or ponder and express them, most of us don’t realize the extent to which they are driving our thoughts and behavior. Exploring our emotions is a worthy endeavor for anyone hoping to know and develop themselves, build healthy relationships, and… Read more »

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Changing Your Sense of Identity

Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »

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Are You Living with an Accidental Identity?

We often consider our identity as fixed and say things like “that’s just the way I am.” Yet, every one of us has the power to change most aspects of who we are at any given moment in time. If we’d like to be giving, we can be generous. If we’d like to be less… Read more »

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Simple Ways to Reduce the Mental Illness Stigma

Let’s Make it Okay to Ask For Help The problem with the stigma around mental illness is huge! It stops too many people from getting help early, when it’s most effective. With a little knowledge, you and I can help end the stigma, prevent a great deal of suffering and save more lives. “That’s not a… Read more »

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What Drives Our Loneliness?

When we perceive ourselves as lonely, it can actually imperil our health. Research has shown that both perceived and actual social isolation were associated with increased risk of early mortality. Studies have found links between perceived loneliness and heart disease, while other research has suggested that loneliness and social isolation may be a greater threat to public health in the United States than… Read more »

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The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

Taking care of ourselves and doing what we love is NOT selfish Most of us are taught from an early age that being selfless is a good thing. There are many benefits of altruism to both our mental and physical well-being. However, sometimes the messaging we receive to be giving of ourselves, to push ourselves to the… Read more »

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Self-Consciousness: How to Reduce Self-Consciousness

The term “self-consciousness” doesn’t sound so bad when broken down. After all, being conscious of oneself is something we all need in order to operate as social beings in a social world. However, self-consciousness often describes an exaggerated focus or uncomfortable attitude we have about ourselves and how we are perceived. The problem with self-consciousness… Read more »

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A Wise Approach to Taking in the News

In this day and age global news is everywhere. We get it from traditional news stations, social media, or just alerts from friends, family and colleagues. The news always seems to come in the form of headlines that are meant to stimulate our nervous systems. This is so our eyes will stare more often and… Read more »

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