self development

“You Need Psychotherapy”

Psychotherapy is a luxury that you deserve. When I was in my early 20’s, I went into psychotherapy. At that point in my life, I had tried all of the things that were supposed to bring me happiness—college, marriage, moving to a different city—and I was getting more and more miserable. I wasn’t a mental mess; I wasn’t seriously… Read more »

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How To Create Healthy Boundaries That Work for You

You have an important deadline at work. But you had to take your car to the shop. You skip breakfast and catch a ride to work. By noon your stomach is churning. On your way to lunch, your boss stops you to take care of something urgent. What do you do? We depend on our… Read more »

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Prioritizing Yourself: Making Sure You’re On the List!

“Where are you on your to-do list?” When I ask people this question, their response is usually one of confusion. While it may feel like a foreign concept to many of us, to be happy and effective in our day-to -day lives it’s imperative that we take care of ourselves. So what can you do to start… Read more »

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Dealing with Unresolved Trauma

Recently, a friend of mine who suffers from chronic lower back pain came back from yet another visit to the doctor with a bit of unexpected advice. Instead of the usual discussion of shots, medications, physical therapy, or even surgery, his doctor recommended a book, Healing Back Pain: The Mind Body Connection. The book by… Read more »

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Practice the Change You Wish to See in the World

Life is a practice, and what you choose to practice is what makes up your character. It’s worth considering what you value in life, and then making an intention and plan to live alongside those values. Ghandi’s wise words can inspire us to: “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Consider… Read more »

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10 Life-Changing Benefits You Can Enjoy By Keeping a Journal

The chances are that you write every single day without even thinking about it. Whether you’re chatting with your friends and family through your smartphone, crafting emails to colleagues at work, or writing up some sort of letter to customers, writing is a huge part of our lives. However, have you ever considered how writing… Read more »

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The Fantasy Bond or Primary Defense

This is the first in a series of blogs describing my theoretical approach known as Separation Theory. It represents an integration of psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought and describes how early interpersonal pain and separation anxiety and, later, death anxiety, lead to the formation of powerful psychological defenses. The primary defense is the fantasy… Read more »

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The Simplest & Most Effective Technique I’ve Found for Reducing Stress

The World Health Organization has labeled stress a “worldwide epidemic.” The percentage of people suffering from stress and anxiety around the world keeps rising year after year. By now, we’ve all heard about the benefits of practicing mindfulness to reduce stress. However, the very idea of practicing mindfulness can feel daunting to many of us…. Read more »

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How Emotions Guide Our Lives

Emotions guide our lives in a million ways. Whether we’re inclined to hide and avoid or ponder and express them, most of us don’t realize the extent to which they are driving our thoughts and behavior. Exploring our emotions is a worthy endeavor for anyone hoping to know and develop themselves, build healthy relationships, and… Read more »

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Changing Your Sense of Identity

Recently, I wrote about “Living with an Accidental Identity.” I described how painful early experiences, definitions, and defenses affect the way individuals perceive and present themselves throughout their lives, leading them to develop an “accidental identity,” rather than a true sense of who they are. Understanding this process can lead people to question their negative identity and make… Read more »

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