…out it that way before. What exactly do you mean by the word “vulnerable”? Robert Firestone: It’s a complicated issue, but looking at it existentially, we only have one life to live. The essential idea is to live it as fully as possible, to experience all of your emotions, all your perceptions, all your thoughts, all your ideas. But when we’re damaged, we block out a lot of our potential to realize the fullness of our existence. Early in life, we…
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…out it that way before. What exactly do you mean by the word “vulnerable”? Robert Firestone: It’s a complicated issue, but looking at it existentially, we only have one life to live. The essential idea is to live it as fully as possible, to experience all of your emotions, all your perceptions, all your thoughts, all your ideas. But when we’re damaged, we block out a lot of our potential to realize the fullness of our existence. Early in life, we…
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…e coming from within. In our book, Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships, Robert W. Firestone, Joyce Catlett and I discuss the feelings of humiliation and shame that sexual infidelity evokes in the “betrayed” party. We describe how their shame and humiliation are intensified in relation to others finding out about their partner’s affair and explain how these feelings may be traced to early childhood experiences of humiliation. We go on to explain…
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…s of a good deal of their misery. Psychological Defenses in Everyday Life, Robert Firestone, PhD. I’m painting the room in a colorful way, And when my mind is wandering, There I will go. It is possible to combat this insidious “enemy within” by becoming aware of it. You can be alert to when your mood shifts from feeling optimistic or relaxed to feeling down or irritable, and you can look for how your voice is influencing your thoughts and feelings…
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…tate, the mind, of the other. As we grow in our ability to know ourselves, we become receptive to knowing each other.” If we adopt this perspective, no longer will we seek out our ‘missing piece,’ but instead we will recognize our own value and what we have to offer to another person. Robert Firestone wrote, “Perhaps the single most important life affirming human quality is the ability to feel love-to feel compassion and empathy for and express ki…
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…tain self-understanding that can help us put a halt to the harmful behaviors that impair our relationships. When we have insight into ourselves, we also form compassion and empathy for another person. We can uncover why we are the way we are, and become who we’ve always wanted to be. As Robert Firestone wrote, “Perhaps the single most important life affirming human quality is the ability to feel love — to feel compassion and empathy for and expres…
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…y in this scenario of family life. In their book Beyond Death Anxiety, Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett explain how many parents envision family continuity as a form of symbolic immortality — a kind of living on through their sons and daughters and their grandchildren in an endless chain of biological attachment. In one sense, our children do represent a symbolic victory over death by perpetuating our identity into the future. This notion is…
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…to ‘me’ alone.” In his book The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships, Dr. Robert Firestone addresses the benefits of seeing our common humanity and outlines the dangers of focusing on our differences and the need to see “our group” as superior. Truly adopting these four principles of well-being into our lives can help us to live a more harmonious and rewarding existence. However, there is a fifth element I would add that can enhance our ability t…
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…our lifetime. However, we can also create what my father psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone termed a “Fantasy Bond” with our parents, an illusion of connection that aligns us with those who raise us and causes us to identify with them in ways that are negative as well as positive. As I’ve said before, no person is perfect. Even the best parents are only attuned to their children about 30 percent of the time. This is why, as adults, it is important…
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…und victimized or childish. In his blog, “Don’t Play the Victim Game,” Dr. Robert Firestone wrote “Maintaining a child victim role leads to chronic passivity.” It’s important not to be passive aggressive toward your loved ones. You shouldn’t punish them for not knowing instinctively what you want or for failing to read your mind. No one can expect any one person to meet all their needs. Rather, you should strive to feel like a whole person in your…
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