Search Results for: michelle deen/2010/06/2009/12/dr-lisa-firestone-%E2%80%9Csuicide-the-warning-signs%E2%80%9D/2010/03/helper-tasks-how-you-can-help-someone-whos-suicidal/2010/03/helper-tasks-how-you-can-help-someone-whos-suicidal

How To Tell the Difference Between Real Love and Fantasy

…al and exciting from the deadening effects of what my father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, termed “The Fantasy Bond?” A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of “being” in a relationship. Though this process is often unconscious, people can begin to recognize patterns and behaviors characterized by a Fantasy Bond that are destructive to their close…

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Sabotage You

…e patterns, we must gain an understanding of the defenses we formed as children that once helped us deal with hardships but now hold a negative influence on our lives. For instance, if someone grew up with a negligent parent, they may have an inner voice that tells them, “You are fine on our own. You don’t need anybody.” This thought may have made them feel secure when they were young, but as an adult they may not trust easily and actually push aw…

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Real Love or a Fantasy Bond: The Appeal of the Twilight Saga

…d lead to a real and lasting relationship. Instead, they may be based on a draw toward fantasy, a false sense of being completed, or an innate desire to merge one’s identity with another (returning to the safety of the womb). They can also be based on emotional hunger toward a partner, or the illusion of getting safety and immortality through “love” and walking off into the sunset together forever. So why are we drawn to fantasy over reality when…

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Fantasy Bond, Intimacy problems, relationship advice

Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

…rson to boredom and dissatisfaction? In order to identify the wedge that’s driving couples apart, it’s helpful to understand the concept of the “fantasy bond.” As the major principle of a comprehensive psychological theory developed by my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, the “fantasy bond” describes a way of relating that serves as a substitute for a truly loving relationship As my father has written of the fantasy bond, “This ill…

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The Fantasy Bond, fear of intimacy, psychalive, the glendon association

What is a Fantasy Bond?

…Dr. Robert Firestone on The Fantasy Bond…

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breaking the fantasy bond with our mothers, psychalive, mothers day 2012, mother daughter conflict,

Breaking the Fantasy Bond with Our Mothers

…e in her – and we’re mostly unaware of this process. Nancy Friday’s and Hendrika Freud’s ideas strongly resonate with me for many reasons, both personal and professional. For one thing, my father, Robert Firestone, has written extensively about the ambivalence inherent in every mother-daughter relationship. His descriptive accounts of the dynamics operating in the mother-daughter bond were published in Compassionate Child-Rearing (1990) and are ex…

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perfect imperfect moment

3 Steps to Experience the Perfect Imperfect Moment

…y silence this critic. As one of the leaders in interpersonal neurobiology Dr. Daniel Siegel says, the only appropriate attitude to have toward yourself is to be curious, open, accepting and loving. This attitude is what makes change possible. It’s what helps you to not only reach your goals but enjoy and appreciate the road that gets you there, imperfect as it may be. 2. Don’t Avoid Feelings My father, who is also a psychologist and my co-author…

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