Search Results for: lisa firestone/feed/2009/11/fear-of-intimacy

Five Things You Can Do Today to Feel Closer to Your Partner

…play it safe and resist really putting themselves out there, because they fear that they’ll feel foolish or be let down. Yet, we have to be willing to let our guard down and be vulnerable to receive love. Don’t be afraid to be daring when it comes to love. In her book, fittingly titled Daring to Love, author Tamsen Firestone wrote, “Never forget that love is not just a noun. It’s also a verb – an action. The source of your greatest power and free…

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What’s Ruining Your Sex Life?

…ho you are. One of the most effective ways to do this is to keep challenging your inner critic and exploring your own, real feelings about your sexuality. To hear more from Dr. Lisa Firestone on the critical inner voice and sexuality, join her for the Webinar, “Finding Healthy and Satisfying Sexuality.”…

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You May Be Wrong About Your Attachment Pattern

…$49 On-Demand Webinars     In this Webinar: This online workshop with Dr. Lisa Firestone will provide tools to help people heal insecure attachment, resolve trauma, integrate their… Learn More In general, an insecure attachment pattern on either side of the spectrum can leave us with skewed ideas about ourselves, about how others are likely to treat us and how much love and care we deserve. A dismissive person may believe they need more space, wh…

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relationship fix

How to Fix a Relationship

…r. Why is this? Because most people tend to have many (albeit unconscious) fears of intimacy. Overcoming these fears means facing the part of ourselves that keeps us from living fully and experiencing happiness. We all possess an inner critic or “anti-self” that limits us in our goals and keeps us from fulfilling our full potential. This inner enemy is shaped throughout our early lives, through experiences that hurt us or that taught us to be fear…

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Real Love or a Fantasy Bond: The Appeal of the Twilight Saga

…enges that arise with real love is form what my father psychologist Robert Firestone termed a “Fantasy Bond.” The fantasy bond is a connection built out of fears from danger and even from death that we often experience at an unconscious level. This bond substitutes real feelings of love, respect, and spontaneity with an illusion of connection, a focus on form over substance, and a false sense of security and completion by another person. When we f…

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What Real Love Looks Like

…e couples often fall into a pattern of placing less importance on physical intimacy and casual affection. However, simple acts of affection such as holding hands, making eye contacting and engaging in small flirtatious behaviors can help people feel closer to one another. Companionship – It is important to share activities and do things with your partner that light both you up. Often when people first fall in love, they bond over a shared love of…

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Why Break Ups Hurt So Much

…he now felt panicked and fell to pieces at the thought of being alone. She feared she wouldn’t be able to take care of herself, to even survive without him. It took her some time, but the woman ultimately realized that it wasn’t her husband’s loss she was mourning; it was the illusion of security that the relationship provided. She had used her marriage to feel that she was living up to society’s expectations, to prove to that she was a desirable…

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Why Are So Many Parents Limited in Loving Their Children?

…in their developmental years they will have problems in accepting love and intimacy from their children. Faced with the emotional pain that it causes them, parents will unconsciously distance themselves from their child. 4. If parents have unresolved trauma in their own lives they will tend to be mis-attuned to their children, especially when their children approach periods in their lives that were traumatic for the parent. They may react by becom…

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How To Tell the Difference Between Real Love and Fantasy

…ationship. Non-defensive and Open Vs Angry and Closed Off Our reactions to feedback are good indicators of our potential to resolve problems in our relationships. When we are closed to criticism, suggestions, or new experiences, we limit ourselves and our partners in ways that impair our interactions. When we communicate with our partners, it’s important to look for the kernel of truth in what they are saying instead of sifting through each statem…

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“My Daughter Won’t Eat!”

…. It’s extremely hard to know what exactly to say, do, or ways to help, in fear of making your teen upset, mad at you, or even more uncomfortable. Your teen doesn’t want this either. It’s important to show yourself love and compassion the same way you want your teen to show themselves love and compassion. Tip #2 : Don’t Ever Say “Just Eat It.” While ED’s can be confusing and frustrating, the last thing you ever want to tell your teen is ‘Just eat…

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