…support can be just as helpful. Do your part to destigmatize. The biggest fear I had in opening up to close ones was the fear that people would look at me differently. By reassuring them that you still see them as who they truly are, under the occasional mask of anxiety, they can feel more comfortable to be honest and open about what they are going through. Encourage seeking professional help. Going hand-in-hand with destigmatizing, talking about…
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…h them. Anxious Insecure Attachment Anxious insecure attachment leads to a fear of not being loved, accompanied by insistence on being reassured, a combination which drives a partner away, thereby recreating the person’s past. Unfortunately, these old, familiar patterns of relating often make people feel unlovable. Staying with a partner who doesn’t consistently see or value them in some way is a painful recreation of the past, but it is also a mo…
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…child tolerate “no” and taking turns rather than using power, control, or fear. While standards for behavior are important, the parenting question is how to help my child express sadness, fear, disappointment, or anger without becoming hostile. Focusing on how a child “should” behave or insisting that a teen “can’t talk to me that way” is frankly inaccurate. The truth is no matter what rules are set, expectations held, or punishments given, it is…
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…takes a turn for the better, there are few answers on how to cope with the fear and frustration that many of us are still living with everyday. For those of us, the most vital advice is also the simplest: do not isolate yourself. Not one of us hasn’t felt the weight of the recent economic crisis – not only the practical but the emotional impact. While, in low moments, we may feel alone in this, alone is the last thing we should be. When someone is…
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…e person they want to go to for safety is the very same person they are in fear of. Because of this erratic and unpredictable dilemma, the child has no organized strategy to get their needs met. Adults with a fearful-avoidant attachment usually live in an ambivalent state in which they are both frightened of being too close to or too distant from others. They see their relationships from the perspective that they need to go toward others to get th…
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…our mental health: fear and isolation. The coronavirus has our existential fears going through the roof! We are terrified because this deadly virus seems to be everywhere and so much is unknown. There is no vaccine or cure for it yet. We don’t know who has it. People aren’t being tested for it. Whole cities and countries are being quarantined. When our death anxiety is aroused, we are often unaware of the ways we are impacted by it. We may be more…
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…sruptive to our daily lives. The uncertainty of this situation has aroused fear and anxiety in many of us and likely in our children as well. The way children respond to stress can look different from adults and is dependent on many factors including a child’s temperament, available coping skills, and life experiences. Children also respond differently depending on their age or stage of development. Young children may become more cranky, throw tan…
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…g of separateness causes a certain degree of anxiety. How we cope with our fear and the subsequent defenses we utilize determine the course of our emotional lives. Eventually, children realize that their parents will die, though at first the child somehow feels exempt from this fate. In their desperation to escape the terrifying loss that they see as inevitable, children cling more tenaciously to their parents and the family system. At the same ti…
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…imes of stress have more to do with our past than the present. Our child’s fear can rekindle a feeling of fear we felt as kids. Their cry can resonate with our own early distress. As parents, we may try to keep our cool and hide our reactions, or we may let them spill out in ways we regret. Either way, our inner emotional state is often displayed, be it verbally or non-verbally. Our expressions, micro-expressions, tone of voice, and body language…
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…lay with each word separately? Anxiety has a perception of trepidation and fear intermingled with imagining the worst in the future. Adventure has a perception of excitement and encouragement to move into the future imagining something good. If you enjoy the adventure of amusement park rides, you’ve chosen to activate your system like anxiety, but perceive it to be your choice, and therefore, are interested in approaching. Regardless of whether th…
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