…connection two people naturally share. My father, psychologist Dr. Robert Firestone, coined the term “The Fantasy Bond” to describe an illusion of connection that many people cling to in relationships. In article I wrote for PsychAlive.org, I described the difference between real love and a fantasy bond. A fantasy bond is created when two people replace real acts of genuine love, admiration, passion, and respect with the role and ritual of “being…
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…years I have studied, along with my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, the roots of the critical inner voice. He developed “voice therapy” as a way for people to identify and separate from this inner critic by understanding the origins of the critical inner voice and then taking actions to go against it, actions that are goal directed and that represent a person’s true point of view. The steps involved in this therapy process are de…
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…needs than those of our children. My father psychologist and author Robert Firestone often talks about the concept of emotional hunger versus love. In a book co-authored by my father and myself, The Self Under Siege, we describe emotional hunger as follows: Emotional hunger may be expressed in anxious over-concern, over-protection, living vicariously through one’s child, or an intense focus on appearances. Parents who behave in this manner exert a…
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…book The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation, Robert Firestone, Joyce Catlett and I show how the self is under siege from several sources: primarily from pain and rejection in the developmental years, but also struggles in personal relationships, detrimental societal forces, and existential realities that affect all people. To become one’s own person – to differentiate and separate oneself from these negative influences, both…
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…to help. Fortunately, treatment is both available and effective. It can lead to increased resilience, emotional growth, and can even save a life. Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. —Join Dr. Firestone and Dr. Courtois for the Sept. 24 CE Webinar, “Complex Forms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” or the Sept. 10 free webinar for the public, “Understanding Trauma, from ‘Simple’ to ‘Complex.’” L…
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…discuss the concept of the “critical inner voice,” a term my father Robert Firestone, Ph.D. and I use to describe a negative self-perception we carry with us in our minds. All of us possess this inner critic, but those of us who are traumatized may experience this “voice” as a deeply destructive and terrifying enemy whose attacks on us can feel crippling and constant and can lead to even life-threatening self-destructive behavior. When a person fe…
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…ndividual, as outlined in my new book, co-authored by my father Dr. Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett, The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation. Individuals who are more differentiated, who are living their lives based on their own unique values and desires, are open to new experiences rather than tied to routine. They can think clearly and problem solve. They are proactive not victimized when faced with difficulties. They ta…
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…” In his blog “Alive Sexuality,” my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, described the cause of this shift that so often takes place in intimate relationships. Most people view their mutual patterns of withholding and their diminished sexual attraction to each other as part of the normal course of events and mistakenly place the blame on the familiarity, routine, and daily contact inherent to a committed relationship. In truth, once p…
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by Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D. Joyce Catlett, M.A. Beyond Death Anxiety: Achieving Life-Affirming Death Awareness assists mental health practitioners in helping their clients learn to accept and face their mortality. They describe the many defenses of death anxiety, and suggest methods to cope directly with fears of death; an approach that, ironically, can lead to a greater appreciation of life. This book examines the many destructive consequences…
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…earn More 3) Fear of Intimacy As my father, psychologist and author Robert Firestone, wrote in his article “You Don’t Want What You Say You Want,” “Most of us profess that we want to find a loving partner, but the experience of real love disrupts fantasies of love that have served as a survival mechanism since early childhood… Pushing away and punishing the beloved acts to preserve one’s negative self-image and reduces anxiety.” Our fears surround…
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