Search Results for: critical%20inner%20voice

Making Love Last by Learning to Love

…istance between people in a relationship. Identifying specific things your critical inner voice says about you and your relationship is the first step toward breaking the pattern. Voice Therapy, a process of verbalizing the the negative point of view of the critical inner voice and then answering back to it with your real point of view, is an effective way to insure that this negative coaching doesn’t continue to interfere with your relationship….

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building self esteem how to build self-esteem

Building Self-Esteem

…ways, filtering our self-perceptions through the unflattering lens of the critical inner voice. When we focus on helping others, we begin to look outward in ways that broaden our horizons. Furthermore, we begin to see ourselves reflected positively through interactions with others. Live Up to Your Own Moral Code In order to develop healthy and consistent feelings of self-esteem, it is important to respect yourself. Acting on your own principles i…

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How to Stop Worrying

…und us. Like the flip side of a positive sense of self or “real self,” our critical inner voice or “anti-self” is created out of negative life experiences and messaging we internalized, often very early in our lives. Learning how this destructive thought process goes on to amplify our stress levels as well as the steps we can take to stand up to this “voice” can strengthen our real sense of self and help us to stop torturing ourselves with worry….

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3 Steps to Sustaining a Loving Relationship

…l around in our heads about relationships tend to pop up in the form of a “critical inner voice.” This “voice” sends us a lot of messages and directions about ourselves, our partner, and our relationships. “Be careful,” it warns. “She’s probably going to leave you. “You don’t need anyone,” it announces. “Just keep your distance.” “He’s too clingy.” “Is this a sign she’s rejecting you?” This voice is not a conscience and typically doesn’t serve our…

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Fantasy Bond, Intimacy problems, relationship advice

Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

…uly know your partner, rather than seeing him or her through a negative or critical lens. When we get into the habit of swallowing our feelings and turning against our partner rather than stating how we feel, we are skating on thin ice. Even when we start to feel close, we will often be quick to become critical the minute our partner does something that rubs us the wrong way. When we feel free to directly say the things that annoy or anger us, we…

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The Divided Self: Rejecting Your Inner Enemy and Reclaiming Your Real Self

…als and abilities. Another part is against themselves, self-limiting, self-critical, and even self-destructive. This 90-minute webinar with Dr. Lisa Firestone will explore the roots of this division and the psychological impact it has on a person’s life. In her illuminating presentation, Dr. Firestone will explore why people turn against themselves. What holds them back from being who they really are and accomplishing what they seek to accomplish?…

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6 Tips For Dealing With Your Anger

…. When exploring our anger, one thing to be mindful of are any excessively critical thoughts that are coming up around that anger. Every one of us has an inner critic that is shaped by our early experiences, which can feed us destructive thoughts that turn us against ourselves and others. This critic may inspire paranoia, assume others are against us, or simply make us feel bad about ourselves, even telling us how mean we are to feel any anger at…

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An Overview of Separation Theory

…but learned or imposed from without. It represents the internalization of critical, rejecting, hostile and traumatic attitudes that the child experienced. The voice can be thought of as a secondary defense that supports the fantasy bond. Voices range in intensity from minor self-criticisms to major self-attacks and foster self-soothing habit patterns, isolation, and a self-destructive lifestyle. Voice attacks are directed toward others as well as…

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fear of intimacy

3 Ways to Tell You’re Afraid of Intimacy

…all of us are flawed, but the ways we start to hone in on and become hypercritical toward the flaws in our partner is often the result of our fears around closeness. The “critical inner voice” is the language of our defense system, an internal dialogue that tears us down and often leads us to self-limiting behavior. This “voice” can also focus on our partner. “He’s always so distracted. He’s clearly bored by you,” it may say. “She never cleans up…

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Nourishing Your Resilience in Hard Times

…ut what will make us “feel better.” Part of this is because we all have a “critical inner voice” that doesn’t have our best interest at heart. This “voice” is often at the root of our self-critical thinking as well as our self-limiting or self-destructive behavior. Its commentary can undermine our wants, needs, and personal goals. It can cloud our thinking, even as we try to seek out the things that matter to us and give our days meaning. For exam…

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