Search Results for: couples experiencing relationship trouble

Genuine Relating in an Imperfect World

…and their partner (They are so stupid/ unattractive/ weak/ etc.) and their relationship (This relationship is doomed to fail! Where’s the love/ passion/ compatibility?) Pretty soon, a person is turned against both their partner and themselves. In having the original expectation and the reactions when it is shattered, people are overlooking a fundamental reality. Each one of us is a unique human being with our own interests, some that we will share…

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love and deception

Deception and the Destruction of Your Relationship

…possessiveness insecurity and distrust can cause us to warp and misuse our relationships. Once a relationship becomes about compromising ourselves or denying who we are, we are no longer living in the reality of what the relationship is but in a fantasy of what we think a relationship should be. An example of this might be a woman whose boyfriend gets so jealous that he forbids her to be alone with other men. Another example may be a man whose par…

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What’s Wrong With Infidelity?

…eakiness, deception, and distrust, three elements that can destroy a close relationship. So how do we keep our own relationship healthy and honest? While this may seem counter-intuitive, what I’ve found in my 25 years of experience as a psychologist and researcher working with couples is that avoiding affairs often means offering our partners more freedom, increased independence, and open communication. Maintaining intimacy means breaking down res…

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Who’s the Boss in Your Relationship?

…lationship. Equality is one of the most important elements of a successful relationship, and yet, countless couples fall into dynamics and roles that are inherently unequal. One person tends to be more childish, the other more parental, one more submissive, the other more dominating. Very often, individuals are drawn to these roles, because on an unconscious level, they allow us to play out dynamics from our past that are familiar, and therefore,…

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5 Most Important Relationship Resolutions

…n territory. Yet, in my years of working with all kinds of individuals and couples, I’ve noticed certain patterns that inevitably seem to creep in at some point in a relationship. Being close to someone and maintaining a deep level of intimacy is a precious but fragile thing. It can bring us our greatest sense of pleasure and fulfillment and our deepest feelings of vulnerability, fear and even anger. So what can we do to give ourselves our best ch…

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Relationship Compatibility

…ndamental questions about relationship compatibility. How would you define relationship compatibility? Relationship compatibility exists, first and foremost, when a couple relates with equality and respect. It’s important for couples to have fun together and really enjoy the time they spend together. Relationships thrive when two people share companionship and activities. However, a couple doesn’t have to have every interest in common. People ofte…

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6 Reasons you should NEVER Compare your Relationships

6 Reasons you should NEVER Compare your Relationships

…on is to change them. It will make you feel bitter Here’s a solid piece of relationship advice for couples: if all you can think about is how your ex did X, Y, and Z for you and you wish your new spouse was like that, you have a serious problem! You and your ex aren’t together for a reason. As the old saying goes, “It’s called a breakup because it’s broken.” Wishing for your spouse to be like an ex (or like a partner from someone else’s relationsh…

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Daring to Love in the Time of Coronavirus

…ffer additional suggestions for sustaining individuality to strengthen the relationship. I will expand on developing skills for communicating in an intimate relationship as well as for dealing with anger constructively. Finally, I will write about the act of loving, because after all, love is not just a feeling—it is an action. In The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm stated, “There is only one proof for the presence of love: the depth of the relationshi…

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Why Some Men Give Up Their Identity in a Relationship

…d Santa Barbara California. He has focused his work on Male Psychology and Couples Relationship issues with over 30 years’ experience helping children, parents and couples. Dr. Goldenberg’s areas of expertise are in-depth individual and couples therapy and providing intervention services to children with emotional and developmental disorders. Dr. Goldenberg is the Director of the Verdugo Hills Autism Project and a certified Relationship Developmen…

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Deception: The Real Villain Behind Relationship Infidelity

…possessiveness insecurity and distrust can cause us to warp and misuse our relationships. Once a relationship becomes about compromising ourselves or denying who we are, we are no longer living in the reality of what the relationship is but in a fantasy of what we think a relationship should be. An example of this might be a woman whose boyfriend gets so jealous that he forbids her to be alone with other men. Another example may be a man whose par…

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