…ade, and all we are left with is the form that makes up a fantasy bond. Reigniting our relationships can be as simple as carrying out those small, caring acts that make our partners feel acknowledged and loved for who they are. Taking steps each day to counter these habitual patterns leads us down a path that is much more fulfilling, much braver, and much more real. The Fantasy Bond Length: 90 Minutes Price: $15 On-Demand Webinars In this Webi…
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…hrough the filter of our “critical inner voice.” This “voice” represents a pattern of negative thoughts and distorted ideas we developed about ourselves and others based on hurtful experiences from our early lives. As we grow up, we may expect relationships to mirror those of our past and project our “voices” onto others, especially those closest to us. “All misperceptions or projections, both positive and negative, will generate problems,” wrote…
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…lenging times from PsychAlive’s new series, Experts at Home: Featuring Dr. Pat Love Have empathy and compassion. Having empathy and compassion for your partner is necessary for maintaining regard for them. This involves perceiving your loved one on a cerebral level as well as on an emotional, intuitive level. Webster’s defines “understanding” as being able “to achieve a grasp of the nature, significance, or explanation of something.” And “empathy”…
Learn More…Dr. Robert Firestone Dr. Carol Gilligan Dr. Dan Siegel Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn Dr. Kirk Schneider Dr. Lisa Firestone Dr. James Gilligan Dr. James Garbarino Dr. Pat Love Dr. Sheldon Solomon Dr. Donald Meichenbaum Dr. Donna Rockwell Dr. Daniel Zamir Dr. Christine Courtois Dr. Allan Schore Dr. Peter A. Levine…
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…ill make us feel alone, but free. It forces us to face pain – Psychologist Pat Love once said that “when you long for something like love, it becomes associated with pain.” In many ways, getting what we want makes us feel pain and sadness, because it reminds us of something we didn’t get in our past. New, positive experiences can open up old wounds. In an often unexpected way, times when we are chosen can make us feel the sadness of times we were…
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…ltitudes of people over many decades (e.g., Adolf Hitler, Mao Ze-dong, Pol Pat of the Kymer Rouge, Joseph Stalin). History has shown that many pathological leaders who assume positions of power early in their careers become increasingly authoritarian, paranoid, and punitive as they grow older. For example, in his later years, Stalin embarked on a program to purge the party of suspected political heretics that led to the murder of thousands, includ…
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…t on one special holiday a year, but every day. As psychologist and author Pat Love has emphasized, the best thing a parent can do for their children is to get their adult needs met by other adults In Nancy Friday’s famous book, My Mother/My Self, the author quoted Dr. Richard Robertiello as saying, “If a mother has a life of her own, the [kids] will love her more, will want to be around her more. She must not define herself as ‘a mother’, she’s g…
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…don’t get our own needs met. One of the best pieces of advice my colleague Pat Love often gives to parents is to get their adults need met by other adults. When parents center their entire lives around their kids in an effort to be selfless, they actually put a lot of pressure on their kids to fulfill their lives and meet their needs. It’s so much better for kids to witness their parents as full and fulfilled people in and of themselves, thereby e…
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…my favorite things relationship expert and author of The Truth about Love, Pat Love, tells couples. Whatever you feel is acceptable: hurt, anger, insecurity. Your feelings are reactions that you have little control over that help you know yourself. However, how you act is within your control. When you feel triggered by your partner, try to take a breath or take a walk before you react. Find ways to calm yourself down, so that you can feel whatever…
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…I moved more easily into such other “open” sets of feelings as “love”, “empathy” and “compassion”. In the months to come when I felt depressed I neither tried to repress it nor to do something to make me “happy.” I instead worked on relaxing and decontracting my muscles, breathing into my depression, to move from feeling “depressed” to “sad”. When I did so not only did my depression lift, but I found myself open to loving, gentle or empathic stat…
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