Self Development
Relationships
Parenting
Mindfulness
Depression
Anxiety
Attachment
Self-Esteem
The Fantasy Bond
A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which the partners becomes pseudo-independent, replacing the form of being a “couple” with the real relating involved in being in love. The degree of reliance on a fantasy bond is proportional to the degree of frustration and pain experienced in a person’s developmental years. In this section, you can learn why fantasy bonds are formed, what qualities make up a fantasy bond, and how to avoid falling into an unhealthy “bond” in your own relationships.
Staying in Love While Staying Yourself
A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each... >>
How to Go “All In” in a Relationship (Without Losing Yourself)
As a therapist, I spend a good amount of time exploring the push and pull... >>
Five Things You Can Do Today to Feel Closer to Your Partner
Relationships are full of ups and downs, but they can also have long lulls in... >>
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A Guide to the Fantasy Bond
Many struggles we face in our current interpersonal relationships arise from a core defense formed... >>
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Why Do So Many People Respond Negatively to Being Loved?
Love — kindness, affection, sensitive attunement, respect, companionship — is not only difficult to find,... >>
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Identity, Sexuality, and Society’s Assault on the Self: A Commentary on John Irving’s Novel, In One Person
John Irving’s latest novel, In One Person, is a timely statement about men and women,... >>
Rihanna and Chris Brown: The Abusive Cycle
Rihanna’s racy remix “Birthday Cake” has created a public frenzy ever since the song was... >>
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Breaking the Fantasy Bond with Our Mothers
The other day, I was reminded of reading Nancy Friday’s book, My Mother/My Self many... >>
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Why My Relationship Failed, a Fantasy Bond Story
We’ve all been there. Sitting alone, upset, rejected, wondering, “what the... >>
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What is a Fantasy Bond?
Dr. Robert Firestone on The Fantasy Bond