The Fantasy Bond

The Fantasy Bond Defined for Professionals

An Introduction to The Fantasy Bond with Dr. Lisa Firestone  

Read More

Why the Spark Fades in a Relationship

Countless couples complain of losing the “spark” in their relationship. Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of… Read more »

Read More

Dr. Robert Firestone on The Fantasy Bond

Dr. Robert Firestone, author of Fear of Intimacy and The Fantasy Bond explains the concept of the Fantasy Bond.   Robert W. Firestone, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, author, and artist. He is the Consulting Theorist for the non-profit, The Glendon Association. Author of many books including Voice Therapy, The Fantasy Bond, Fear of Intimacy… Read more »

Read More

Why Are We Hooked on Rejection?

You don’t need to be a psychologist to note the very harsh effects of a breakup on a person’s mental health. When a relationship ends, humiliation, rage, loneliness, anguish and grief all seem to simultaneously show up at the door, marching in arm-in-arm to parade noisily around our psyche. Evicting these emotions is a matter… Read more »

Read More

The Difference Between Emotional Hunger and Real Love

Emotional hunger is not love. It is a strong emotional need caused by deprivation in childhood. It is a primitive condition of pain and longing which people often act out in a desperate attempt to fill a void or emptiness. This emptiness is related to the pain of aloneness and separateness and can never realistically… Read more »

Read More

Real Love or a Fantasy Bond: The Appeal of the Twilight Saga

The latest Twilight movie “Breaking Dawn” is already breaking records. Young fans clamored and camped out on dirty sidewalks for hours (even days) to make it to Friday’s midnight premiere. Walking past one such line, I noticed a father dropping off a shrieking group of dressed up 15-year-old girls from a stretched hummer, rented just… Read more »

Read More

Can Love be Learned?

Anyone who has indulged in romantic comedies like When Harry Met Sally, As Good as it Gets, Moonstruck or pretty much anything starring Sandra Bullock knows the theme of opposites attracting and enemies becoming lovers. This theme has been around since the beginning of time; We see it in Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew and… Read more »

Read More

It Is Immoral To Stop People From Loving You

Some of the most destructive behaviors, commonplace in relationships, are those that people act out in an attempt to ward off loving responses from their partner. In The Ethics of Interpersonal Relationships, I wrote about the dynamics underlying this phenomenon, explaining why we often punish the very person who appreciates and acknowledges us for our positive… Read more »

Read More

True Love or a Fantasy Bond?

There is a misconception in our culture concerning the reason why intimate relationships deteriorate and end. The typical relationship cycle is depicted as follows: Two people meet. They fall in love. They enjoy a certain portion of exhilarating time together. Then, reality sets in. The spark fades. Routine takes over. Fights begin. And love ends…. Read more »

Read More

Where Does Our Love Go?

Its obituary has been announced internationally… in the plot of a thousand books, films, TV shows, articles and tabloids – the sad loss of the initial spark in a relationship. Disapproving wives on evening sitcoms make snide remarks at their lazy husbands. Movies depict failing marriages, worn by routine and destroyed over infidelities. The excitement… Read more »

Read More