Differentiation

The Self Under Siege

Each person has a unique set of genes that distinguishes that individual from every other human being on the planet. This identity is affected by the impact of interpersonal environmental stimuli that are either favorable to the individual potential of the personality or damaging. If people managed to retain significant aspects of their unique identities,… Read more »

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Breaking the Fantasy Bond with Our Mothers

The other day, I was reminded of reading Nancy Friday’s book, My Mother/My Self many years ago; so I took Friday’s book down from a shelf in my office and opened it, quite by chance, to page 388, where I found this heavily underlined quote: “As we get older and the tie to mother is… Read more »

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Why Are We Hooked on Rejection?

You don’t need to be a psychologist to note the very harsh effects of a breakup on a person’s mental health. When a relationship ends, humiliation, rage, loneliness, anguish and grief all seem to simultaneously show up at the door, marching in arm-in-arm to parade noisily around our psyche. Evicting these emotions is a matter… Read more »

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Why Going Back Home Can Leave Us Feeling Lost

Do you ever notice things feeling a bit off after seeing your family? Do the voices in your head second-guessing you get a little louder? Do you notice words coming out of your mouth that don’t even sound like you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you, like so many others,… Read more »

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Living Life on Your Own Terms by Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

Whose life are you really living ? How can you differentiate from past influences and own your decisions and behaviors?As a therapist, I often hear people recount instances in which they said or did something that they just couldn’t believe. As soon as the words slip out of their mouths, they recognize their unfamiliarity, as… Read more »

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Imperfect Parenting: Rupture and Repair

One of the things I know for sure as a parent is that I’m constantly being challenged to look at myself—my reactions, my intentions, my foibles and my regrets. Barely a day goes by that I don’t reflect on some aspect of my interactions with my daughter. Many times I feel pleased about our relationship,… Read more »

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Critical Inner Voice

What is the Critical Inner Voice? The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. The nagging “voices,” or thoughts, that make up this internalized dialogue are at the root of much of our self-destructive and maladaptive behavior. The critical inner voice is not an auditory hallucination; it is… Read more »

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