Differentiation

You Don’t Want What You Say You Want

To the extent that people don’t want what they say they want they are duplicitous in their verbal communications. This applies to a wide area of life pursuits but is particularly relevant to love relationships. What we wish for in fantasy is not necessarily tolerable in reality.  Early in life, when we experience rejection and… Read more »

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Psychological Differentiation

What is Psychological Differentiation? Psychological differentiation is an important aspect of self-development. As Dr. Robert Firestone writes in his book  The Self-Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation, “In order for people to live their own own lives and fulfill their destinies, they must differentiate from destructive environmental influences.” Dr. Firestone believes that a person’s… Read more »

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Are you Parenting Like Your Parent?

Have you ever had one of those moments when something comes out of your mouth that doesn’t sound anything like you? You snap at your partner or scold your child, using words you never use or threats you’d never see through. Afterwards, you stand there stumped for a few seconds wondering, “Where did that come… Read more »

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Are You Hardy Enough?

Life is stressful. Financial strains, employment worries, relationship difficulties, and parenting challenges can all lead us to feel overwhelmed.  But what exactly makes the difference between those who get pushed over the edge with stress and those who, when faced with stressors, actually thrive and develop? In his 30- plus years of research, psychologist and… Read more »

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Are You Tricking Yourself Out of Love?

I was once doing a radio show about our (my father, Dr. Robert Firestone, and my) work on the “critical inner voice,” a self-destructive thought process we all possess. The host started the show by talking about all the media attention on terrorism and the fear we, as a nation, were feeling following the attacks… Read more »

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Becoming the Real You: A Video Presentation with Dr. Lisa Firestone

  Watch Dr. Lisa Firestone, co-author of The Self Under Siege: A Therapeutic Model for Differentiation,  explain the role of differentiation in becoming who you really want to be and living the life you want to lead. Learn more about the book, The Self Under Siege

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Stop Self-Sabotage by Conquering Your Inner Critic

I was once doing a radio show about our (my and my father Dr. Robert Firestone’s) work on the “critical inner voice.” The host started the show by talking about all the media attention on terrorism and the fear we, as a nation, were feeling following the attacks of 9/11. She ended her introduction by… Read more »

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Becoming Your Real Self: Shedding the Baggage of Your Past

“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” – Robert Louis Stevenson What gives a person’s life meaning is unique to every individual. At one point or another, most of us find ourselves asking if we are truly living a life that is… Read more »

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A New Look at Differentiation

Remaining undifferentiated renders one unable to fully accept the gift of life and, instead, leaves one merely living out the life of another. The Self Under Siege I believe a fundamental question for people to consider is whose life are they living? Are they pursuing the things that really light them up, that matter to… Read more »

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Identity, Sexuality, and Society’s Assault on the Self: A Commentary on John Irving’s Novel, In One Person

John Irving’s latest novel, In One Person, is a timely statement about men and women, the nature of sexuality, and society’s assault on the self. Although a work of fiction, the book faithfully reports the real-life struggles of certain people to become who they were destined to be; people different from the rest of us,… Read more »

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