Self Development

9 Signs You Need Better Self-Care and May Be a Trauma Survivor

You know quite well how to take care of yourself, right? Ways to take care of your body are obvious. Getting enough sleep, brushing your teeth, and eating well are classic examples of good self-care. You need emotional self-care too. Can you  notice your emotions and thoughts with gentle awareness? Can you support a loved… Read more »

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The Origin of Polarization, Prejudice, and Warfare

One of the most significant contributions of my theoretical approach, Separation Theory, is that it offers an understanding of the core dynamics underlying human aggression. It explains how people’s defensive nature and dependency on fantasy bonds polarize them against others with different customs and beliefs. In a similar vein, Schneider’s (2013) concept of “psychological polarization” describes the elevation of one… Read more »

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Don’t Give Up Hope: Using Acceptance & Enthusiasm to Heal Our Troubled World

I’m sure people from every generation have felt this way, but I’m worried. From my perspective, the state of the world is troubled. It feels worse to me than any other point I can remember. Even setting aside the menace of climate change, headlines are frightening. Animosity and violence are looming large. More than ever,… Read more »

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“You Need Psychotherapy”

Psychotherapy is a luxury that you deserve. When I was in my early 20s, I went into psychotherapy. At that point in my life, I had tried all of the things that were supposed to bring me happiness—college, marriage, moving to a different city—and I was getting more and more miserable. I wasn’t a mental mess; I wasn’t seriously… Read more »

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How To Create Healthy Boundaries That Work for You

You have an important deadline at work. But you had to take your car to the shop. You skip breakfast and catch a ride to work. By noon your stomach is churning. On your way to lunch, your boss stops you to take care of something urgent. What do you do? We depend on our… Read more »

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8 Tips To Procrastinate Effectively

Most of us were taught that procrastination is not an effective strategy for getting things done. The common belief is that we shouldn’t put off assignments or projects until the last minute. The implication is that completing a task at the last second would mean being doomed to stress, chaos, and maybe even total failure… Read more »

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Worrying Less in 5 Steps

In life there are ups and downs, or as the classic Eastern saying puts it “life is filled with 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows.” In this statement, there’s the wisdom that all things come and go, though our brains have a tendency to amplify the sorrows and minimize the joys in the flow of life… Read more »

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Permission to Live a Joyful Life

Stop the Glorification of Busy and Give Yourself Permission to Live a Joyful Life! It’s as if someone from the outside has decided to play a cruel joke on a large segment of humanity. From the outside looking in they’re saying, “Let’s turn up the dial and increase the speed of life for humans and… Read more »

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Yes, Meditation Can Help Your Eating Disorder Recovery

“If you just sit and observe, you will see how restless your mind is. If you try to calm it, it only makes it worse, but over time it does calm, and when it does, there’s room to hear more subtle things – that’s when your intuition starts to blossom and you start to see… Read more »

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An Overview of Separation Theory

Separation Theory integrates psychoanalytic and existential systems of thought by showing how early interpersonal pain, and separation anxiety and later death anxiety lead to the development of powerful psychological defenses. These defenses attempt to cope with and minimize painful experiences and emotions suffered in one’s developmental years but later predispose limitations and maladaptation in adult… Read more »

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