All of us have a longing to be the recipient of caring gestures and offerings that express thoughtfulness and sensitivity to what we need. However, many of us also experience a certain level of discomfort around receiving because, even as it may benefit us and be what we wish for, it also challenges us. Too… Read more »
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Most of the time, I write about the downsides of self-criticism – so much so that anyone familiar with my work would probably be puzzled by the title of this blog. For years, I’ve centered my research and practice on understanding and challenging a “critical inner voice” we all possess that is way too hard… Read more »
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When a child experiences neglect, anxiety, or danger repeatedly in a close relationship, that child often grows up with a sense that they are not okay. Psychology has a name for the longterm, consistent type of trauma that leaves a person feeling insecure, overwhelmed, and unsafe in the world: complex post-traumatic stress disorder, or CPTSD…. Read more »
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One of the positive outcomes of the COVID-19 pandemic is that it has increased mental health awareness. Limiting our activities and contact with others has led to so much talk about fear, loneliness, disconnection, and mental health. These experiences have made people notice their needs and feel more comfortable seeking help. More people now seek… Read more »
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Trauma can take many forms. You may have heard of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Most people have at least heard of PTSD, as it relates to veterans. Did you know it impacts many others as well? Have you heard of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (complex PTSD or CPTSD)? People often ask how CPTSD and PTSD are… Read more »
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What if nothing feels “right?” When it comes to making choices, sometimes there’s a clear winner. The decision is easy. But it seems like these days especially, every choice is harder. There are so many shades of gray. Confusion and uncertainty persist. Information is constantly changing, and we don’t know what’s accurate or what’s going… Read more »
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If these past 18 months have forced us to evaluate anything, it’s the importance of connection. Be it through new technologies, outdoor activities, or the little pods we’ve packed into to stay safe, we’ve all had to find creative ways to make connection work in a world of social distancing. Nurturing our relationships is one… Read more »
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On any given day of our lives, our self-esteem is likely to hit plenty of peaks and valleys. One minute, we may feel confident and content, the next we may feel insecure and uneasy. As unsettling as this can be, it’s not uncommon. Our self-perception is often not based on what’s actually going on in… Read more »
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There is a common pattern to the way many people tell stories about their emotions, particularly emotions that come up in their relationships. It involves a passive perspective, a perpetual stance of being made to feel certain ways. “She made me feel like I was invisible.” “He was trying to embarrass me.” “Her nagging is… Read more »
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The reasons we act like our parents may not seem like a great mystery. Even setting aside our genetic connection, from the moment we open our eyes, we are absorbing our parents’ point of view and entire way of being in the world. This doesn’t doom us to a life of being boxed-up replicas of… Read more »
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