Relationships

Fantasy Bond

What is a fantasy bond? A “fantasy bond” describes an illusion of connection between a couple that is substituted for feelings of real love and intimacy. Forming a fantasy bond is an often unconscious act of self-parenting and self-protection, in which two people become pseudo-independent, replacing the real relating involved in being in love with the form of… Read more »

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Fear of Intimacy

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found While journeying east and west – The only folks we really wound Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best. This amusing little poem isn’t… Read more »

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Identify Your Critical Inner Voice

The critical inner voice is an internal dialogue, a harsh and judgmental way of talking to ourselves. It is evident in those little everyday thoughts that flit through our consciousness: “You idiot, why did you say that? Now everyone will think you are stupid.” “You moron, you never should have taken this route in rush… Read more »

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I Feel Lonely: What To Do When You’re Feeling Alone

“Why do I feel alone?” Human beings are instinctively social animals. It is natural for us to feel alone or lonely when we are isolated from others. As a tribal species, our brains adapted to rely on social connections as a means to survive. In fact, according to neuroscientist John Cacioppo, who has made a career out of studying loneliness, “The… Read more »

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Love

To love (verb) The dictionary offers two separate definitions for the word love. One is of a noun and the other is of a verb. The dictionary has unwittingly pinpointed the problem that many of us have with love. Often we treat love as if it were only a noun: “an entity, quality, state, action,… Read more »

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