You don’t need to be a psychologist to note the very harsh effects of a breakup on a person’s mental health. When a relationship ends, humiliation, rage, loneliness, anguish and grief all seem to simultaneously show up at the door, marching in arm-in-arm to parade noisily around our psyche. Evicting these emotions is a matter of healing, reconciling, finding peace within ourselves and somehow moving on. The road to recovery is rough, not just because we are struggling with the real loss of a person or a way of life we really loved, but because every painful rejection is fueled by two forces: the actuality of the loss itself and the army of negative, self-loathing thoughts reawakens... read more ...

A Relationship Is A Creative Work Dr. Carol Gilligan: It’s like, if you do any creative work, you have to be willing to fail because creative work means you’re walking off the edge of a cliff. You don’t know what you’re going to do. And we’re a society that has a very low tolerance of any kind of failure; this sort of notion of perfection. If you’re in a relationship, you’re going to have conflict, and you’re going to do things you regret, and this idea actually comes up in my novel, Kira, because somebody says this to Kira, says the idea of, “One false move and that’s it.” He does something really hurtful, annoying, dorky, I don’t know what, get rid of him, get another... read more ...

Dec. 31 may be all about the New Year’s kiss, but by New Year’s Day, most people are thinking about what comes after the kiss. This can be a good metaphor for our dating habits in general. The person we look to for instant passion, an immediate spark or even a New Year’s kiss is not always the same person we would be happy sharing our lives with long-term. With this in mind, it’s safe to assume that one major reason that finding lasting love proves such a challenge is that the qualities we seek in a partner aren’t always those that lead to enduring intimacy. The reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive. That... read more ...