It is possible for real love to last. The mystery of why it does not is often the result of a “fantasy bond.” Its obituary has been announced internationally… in the plot of a thousand books, films, TV shows, articles and tabloids – the sad loss of the initial spark in a relationship. Disapproving wives on evening sitcoms make snide remarks at their lazy husbands. Movies depict failing marriages, worn by routine and destroyed over infidelities. The excitement that builds in the intoxicating plot of a sweet romantic comedy ruined by the tiny tragedies that incur in everyday life. Why does this happen? What turns two happy people into one miserable couple? To many in the field of psychology,... read more ...

Sometimes our criticisms of our partners and ourselves has less to do with reality and more to do with a self-critical set of standards imposed on us by an internal enemy. When attempting to understand what goes wrong in our relationships, it can feel as if we would have to wade through un-translated copies of unresolved conversations, transcripts of old arguments and storage shelves of complaints over under-appreciation and overreactions. Trying to make sense of things becomes so overwhelming that when a relationship does end, we find ourselves offering the vague oversimplification, “It just got so complicated.” What we fail to realize is that what goes wrong in our relationship often... read more ...

There are ways to uncover how and why a genuinely loving relationship can forego passion for routine. How often do we find ourselves going from a vital sense of love for another person to a weighted feeling of complacency or dissatisfaction? Why does this occur? Is it something in us or is it the person we chose? “Most people have fears of intimacy and are self-protective and at the same time are terrified of being alone. Their solution to their emotional dilemma is to form a fantasy bond. This illusion of connection and closeness allows them to maintain an imagination of love and loving while preserving emotional distance,” wrote psychologist and author of The Fantasy Bond, Dr. Robert Firestone... read more ...