relationship issues

Why Some Men Give Up Their Identity in a Relationship

Over the past 30 years of working as a psychologist doing individual and group therapy, I have often seen men struggling to maintain either the romance or friendship or both in their intimate relationships. It’s a subject I’ve been investigating and exploring for much of my professional and personal life. I’ve often noticed my men… Read more »

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Love Addictions: Do You Have an Unhealthy Addiction to Love?

While the term “love addiction” may be controversial among mental health professionals, having an overwhelming or obsessive compulsion toward love or a loved one is not uncommon. Love addictions are formed as a defense against psychological pain. Love addicts have a fantasy of being rescued by their loved one and often believe that this one… Read more »

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Take Control of Who You Are in Your Relationship

I often speak to people who are in distress over the way their romantic partner treats them. They believe that they want to be close, but that their partner is preventing it by being “condescending”, “critical,” “irresponsible,” “distant,” or “rejecting.” This makes them feel terrible or forces them to take control, demand attention, or stand up for themselves. They… Read more »

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A Guide to the Fantasy Bond

Many struggles we face in our current interpersonal relationships arise from a core defense formed in childhood known as the “fantasy bond.”  Maybe you’re wondering why you’re losing the “spark” between you and your partner or why you can’t seem to stop worrying about your kids. You may be surprised to learn that what’s really at… Read more »

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Is Your Smartphone Ruining Your Relationship?

Smartphone dependency is on the rise. According to Dr. James A. Roberts, “the typical American checks his or her smartphone once every six-and-a-half minutes, or roughly 150 times each day.” When one of these frequent phone checks interrupts a conversation or quality time with a romantic partner, it can have serious consequences on the relationship…. Read more »

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Cynical About Relationships: Is Cynicism Ruining Your Love Life?

Whether we are single or in a relationship, we’ve all probably noticed that there can be a lot of cynicism out there when it comes to dating and relationships. Some of us have experienced it ourselves, witnessed it in others, or even felt it directed toward us. Often, we come by our cynical feelings honestly…. Read more »

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Passionate Love: What is the “spark” and how can we keep it alive?

Love is friendship set on fire. ~ Jeremy Taylor Many of us say we’d like to be in love, but have we ever stopped to think what kind of love we’re imagining? Over the years, scientists have made efforts to classify different types of love. Recently, researcher Dr. Barbara Acevedo discovered some good news about one type… Read more »

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Are You the Pursuer or the Distancer in Your Relationship?

Do you ever find yourself longing for your partner, wishing you could feel more connected, even when you’re both in the same place? Or, have you ever caught yourself fantasizing about taking a break from your relationship, wishing you could just slip away for a while? In most relationships, one partner has more desire for closeness,… Read more »

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Commitment Issues: Why Some People Have Them and Others Don’t

Adam is smart, talented and attractive. He’s successful in business and has an exciting lifestyle. He’s a winner, everyone agrees…except his ex-girlfriends. Any one of them can tell a story about Adam that includes disappointment or betrayal. Adam is not malicious. Like anyone else, he wants intimacy… but only so much. If things get too… Read more »

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How to “Make” Someone Fall in Love with You

Whenever I write an article about love or relationships, I inevitably receive one or two spammy comments recommending a mystical cure for how to “win back your husband” or “make the woman of your dreams fall in love with you.” The comment usually recounts a detailed testimonial and describes a modern-day genie who, by way… Read more »

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